


Stray Kitten

by KaiserinAstraia



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 00:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11909061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiserinAstraia/pseuds/KaiserinAstraia
Summary: Riku, Axel, and Roxas are staying in Florida for a week of vacation, but when Riku picks up Sora, a homeless 'stray kitten', how will the three friend's lives be affected?Romance/Humor/Drama; Pairings: Soriku, Akuroku, a small amount of Kairi/Namine; Riku's POV.





	1. Stray Kitten

**Author's Note:**

> Original work here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6157651/1/Stray_Kitten  
> Original date of publication: July 19th, 2010, complete August 21, 2010
> 
> Edited version is here, over the past three-ish days. It took way longer than I thought; my 14-year-old self had issues with run-on sentences! But please, don't let that discourage you. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!

_~Stray Kitten~_

I'm not exactly sure why I did it. Many people walk on the sidewalk adjacent to the beach on the Florida bay; there was no particularly good reason why I thought  _he_  needed a ride, as there was no specific reason as to why I actually pulled over next to him. Was it because he was cute? No, not really, even though he was absolutely adorable. I couldn't see his face in the darkness until he peeked his head into my silver Honda Civic, despite the Third Quarter-full moon beaming down onto us in our tourist town – Destin, Florida. There was nothing odd about him either, and I didn't offer rides to strangers, so why did I stop?

This question remains unanswered unless you believe in fate, but I remember thinking when I saw him ' _He needs me,'_  which actually took me by surprise. Something pulled me to him, but I didn't have time to think about that until I was next to him, window sliding down into the passenger seat door. He stopped shuffling his feet while kicking a piece of concrete, raised his wilted neck and looked upon me straight on. I could only see his silhouette, showing his lean stature; I estimate his age to be fifteen.  _Great,_ I think,  _I decided to pick up a punk,_ but I know it's too late already.

I clear my throat, suddenly feeling somewhat nervous and apprehensive. Despite that, I say, "Hey, need a ride?"

The teen remains still for a long moment and for some reason all I can do is contemplate his head shape; he looks like he has spikes coming out of his skull. When a soft breeze bristles by, the spikes rustle slightly. Wait, that's his  _hair?_

"Uhm, no, it's ok," he says finally, with a deeper voice than I had anticipated. He can't be fifteen with that voice… Could he be seventeen or eighteen, maybe? I look doubtfully upon him.

"You sure? I'm not in a hurry or anything… I could take you wherever you need to go," I reply honestly, hoping I don't sound like a creeper. That wouldn’t be a hard thing to do in this situation however; I mean, who in this day and age actually climbs into the car of a stranger? The answer is no one, unless they're asking to meet the grim reaper.

The spiky haired teen (that I nickname 'kitten' because of the two spikes on top his head that look like a pair of cat's ears) hesitates again, probably contemplating whether to run, just walk away, or actually get into the car. I start to think that this whole thing was a horrible idea, but then surprisingly, Kitten gets closer to the car and pokes his head in curiously, making my nickname for him stick further into my memory (curiosity killed the cat, you know).

My eyes widen a bit at how adorable he is. He has an almost girlish face with soft, creamy tan skin that's a little dirty from sand, but I think nothing of it really, considering he probably just came from the beach. Like I suspected, his hair is randomly spiked all across his head, brunette in color with lighter high lights glimmering in the light throughout the locks. With the longest eyelashes and the deepest, bluest eyes I've ever seen, he looks at me inquiringly, innocently and says, "Uhm, well if you could get me to the Crab Shack, it'd help me out some."

The Crab Shack is a restaurant just a couple blocks over from the condo me and my two friends Roxas and Axel are staying in for the week of vacation we're on. It's adjacent to the public beach, where of course anyone can get in, with showers for the visitors connected to it as well. I've only been there once; the food was good, but expensive (not worth the price if you ask me). But I appreciated all the little signs and decorations inside, like all the ceiling fans being the propellers from boats. I figure Kitten must be meeting some friends there for dinner.

I shake my head a bit, ridding myself of absurdly sappy thoughts about his beautiful face from my mind. "Sure, you meeting someone there? Just warning you though, the restaurant is kinda expensive. But, go ahead and hop in."

Kitten doesn't answer but instead disappears out of my window and opens my car door, clambering into the seat with a slight spring, thankfully reassured I wasn't some stalker rapist. He reminds me of the sunshine; I could tell that he must be a generally trusting, happy person. When he clicks his seat belt into place, I give him a smile and accelerate, intending to go straight to the Crab Shack like the good person I am.

"So… are you a local here or just visiting?" I ask, trying to start some sort of conversation.

"Neither," he says simply, gazing out the window. I glance toward him somewhat surprised and concerned due to his vague answer, but then suddenly realize his clothes are ripped in several places with dirt/sand patches all over. This is unusual for anyone, tourist or not. Is he… homeless? He couldn't be! But it would explain how skinny he is… Is my kitten a stray?

"Uh… can I ask why you need to go to the Crab Shack?" I ask again, keeping my eyes on the road even though my eyebrows remain furrowed due to worry and confusion.

"Uhm, well…" he starts, suddenly sounding uneasy. I hear a soft shuffling; he's fidgeting, trying to come up with a response. My confusion grows. "They have 29 cent gumbo and the public showers right by so I thought it'd be a good place to stop…"

"Why don't you shower when you get home or whatever?" I inquire further, stopping the car at the red light two blocks away from the restaurant.

"I…can't," he replies, reluctantly honest. Because of the red light, I am able to look at him fully, only to find him blushing profusely, making me feel as if I'm melting like butter. If I had any fewer morals, I'd take him home with me (if you understand what I mean).

"Why? …I don't know your situation but… do you need somewhere to stay?" I couldn't help but ask, his blue eyes too haunted to resist. I had no intention to  _do_ anything to him; just my conscience was whispering words of care and concern incessantly, and being the push over I am I had to at least suggest it.

Immediately, Kitten sputters, caught off guard by my direct question. But he doesn't defend himself with rapid explanations and excuses, confirming my beliefs. Maybe he really does need me.

The light turns green and I put my eyes back to the road, wondering if I should be offering to take in this random stranger. He may be insanely cute, but looks have never mattered much to me and I don't know a single thing about him, much less his name. But his honest eyes are entrancingly lonely, and I can't bring myself to leave him unless he wishes it. So, I wait for some kind of response from him, driving slower to have more of an excuse to have him in the car.

"Th-that isn't necessary, but thank you," he finally replies, sounding regretful even as he says it. "I don't want to be a burden; you're already doing enough."

Thinking about what Jesus would do in this situation, I sigh, deciding that I can't drop him off at the restaurant despite his 'wishes'. I take a right at the next light, directing us toward the condo without another word.

"H-hey, where are you going?" he asks, sounding a little panicked. I don't blame him.

"To me and my friend's condo," I explain, "Don't worry, we won't be alone and I won't do anything to you except maybe force you to shower, eat, and let us wash your clothes. You look like you could use a night of sleep on an actual bed too," I added, keeping my turquoise eyes on the road.

Kitten doesn't reply, perhaps too tempted by the offer to argue – or terrified. I hope it is the first, but I wouldn’t be offended if it were the second. When I glance over to him, he's staring into his lap, fidgeting with a rip on his dirty blue jeans. As I drive, we stay quiet together, the awkwardness falling like snow, creating a blanket over us. Unable to take it, I break the silence.

"Well… if you are going to stay with us for a bit, can I at least know your name?" I ask finally, figuring he wouldn't appreciate me calling him Kitten for the rest of the night.

"Sora," he responds, looking up to meet my eyes. "And… thank you," he finishes, his eyes averting to the side.

"No problem… Sora," I reply warmly, catching myself before I call him Kitten. "I'm Riku, by the way."

The brunette smiles. "Riku. Got it."

When we get to the condo, I give Sora a brief introduction to my friends. "My two friends that I'm staying with here are named Axel and Roxas. Roxas probably won't give you any trouble, but Axel can be a bit of a prankster, but I'll do my best to keep him in check for you," I flash him a friendly smile, hoping to relieve some of his obvious anxiety. He smiles back half-heartedly and I insert the key into the lock on the condo's door, continuing, "Axel's the red-head and Roxas is the blonde. They tend to be kinda weird, but they are good people."

Sora nods so I open the door, automatically receiving a loud call from Axel, "Heeeey, Riku, where have you been? Roxas cooked for us!"

Immediately Sora begins to back away, but I flash him a comforting smile and take his hand, leading him into condo hallway. The place is rather small, with only two bedrooms (one on the right and the other up ahead on the left), two bathrooms (one across from the first bedroom and the other connected to the main bedroom up ahead), a kitchen (with the works; a fridge, Tupperware, silverware, pots, pans, a toaster, and most importantly, a coffee pot) with a table right outside it, and a living room with two arm chairs and a comfy crème colored couch and a glass table in the middle. Making quick calculations, I'm suddenly grateful the couch pulls out to become a bed if needed.

"Well, there better be enough left for two more," I reply, stepping into out into the kitchen area, letting go of the frightened brunette's hand reluctantly, scared he might run away.

"Why is that?" Roxas asks, eyes scanning the pages of the book he's reading without looking up. "Don't tell me you're  _that_ hungry, are you?"

"No, Roxas, look," I tell him. Complying with a sigh, he puts his book down and looks at me- but only for a moment, until he sees Sora at my side and his eyes widen. Axel walks in just then, wearing nothing but grey sweat pants with his dynamic red hair back in a ponytail. I mentally face-palm but try to look as blank as possible as Axel looks to Sora as well, mildly surprised.

"Who's this?" Axel asks, eyes scanning over the skinny, tattered form.

"His name's Sora and he's going to stay with us for the night," I say with finality. Roxas continues to look confused and shocked but Axel quickly reacts, walking over to the spiky-haired brunette and holding out his hand to shake.

"Well then, new roomy, I'm Axel, got it memorized?" he introduces himself, showing off his most charming grin. The grin is recognized by his best friend Roxas and the blonde scowls, sliding back his chair before shuffling over as well. When Sora is done shaking Axel's hand, Roxas holds out his own. "Roxas," he states, shaking the brunette's hand.

"Sora," the shy one responds quietly, smiling slightly at the warm welcome. I inwardly admire him and melt within again, resisting the urge to bring him to my chest.

"Alright guys, don't crowd him, gees," I finally say, shaking my head at my ridiculous friends, making my silver hair dance in front of my eyes. I flip it back.

Axel turns around, lifting his hand up to dismiss himself, and walks off to the living only ten feet away, plopping himself onto the couch to watch some murder investigation show on the TV. Sora's eye's follow him for a moment before returning to Roxas who gestures to the kitchen, showing the stove with steaming pots placed on it. "I think there's enough for both of you, but if there isn't I can always make more," the blonde says with a shrug, shuffling off to Axel, sitting unnecessarily close to him on the couch. Both of them automatically lean into each other slightly, causing strong urges for me to roll my eyes.

The urge is too much. I roll my eyes at them before sauntering into kitchen, opening the cabinet above to get out two plates. Sora stands awkwardly at the entrance of the kitchen, want clearly written in his eyes. Breathing in the smell of macaroni and cheese, green beans, and sausage with a responding grumble in my stomach, I realize that Sora must be much hungrier than I am. So, I hand him a plate and gesture for him to fill it first, standing as close as I can to the counter adjacent to the stove to let him pass by. Conflicting emotions of hesitance, nervousness, and desire flit across his face, but instincts prevent him from protesting. He brushes past me, quickly attacking the spoon in the hot pot to dump Mac-n-cheese on his plate greedily.

By the time I get to make my plate, there's barely anything left in the pans whereas Kitten's plate is filled to the brim. He speeds over to the kitchen table once I give him a fork with an amused chuckle, diving into the food. While he eats, I decide that the scraps left aren't worth eating and open the freezer, grabbing the half gallon of Rocky Road Ice-cream within.

I think Roxas has come to recognize the sound of the freezer's door opening and closing because he chides me, "Riku, you're going to get fat if you eat more of the Rocky Road. Can you bear to share any?"

"Nope," I say selfishly; no one gets between me and my ice cream, "and you know I work it off. I have a racecar metabolism." To this, Axel snorts in amusement. "Yeah, right; it's more like a bottomless pit. If I have to go to Wal-Mart one more time, Riku, I swear I will castrate you."

I glare at him in response, thinking quickly of some kind of retort, but rapidly look away when I hear a small laugh coming from the kitchen table. I whirl in Sora's direction, eyes widening at the absolute beauty of his smile and giggles, momentarily stealing away the air in my lungs. I just now notice how his full, pink lips are so… kissable. Even with cheese childishly painted on the corners of his mouth. I've never had such a strong reaction like this to someone before. Sure, I can tell when someone is hot, but Kitten is somehow more than that; I want to say gorgeous, but I’m not sure if the word is strong enough. Maybe it's just him. I guess it's a good thing I never cared about the subject of sexuality – who you love is who you love, no matter what they hide in their pants. Axel claims that makes me bi, but Roxas insists its pan. I know the distinction is important, but to their argument over me, I merely shrug.

"See, Sora agrees with me. Good man," Axel continues, smirking over at me. I glare at him again, watching in annoyance as Axel mouths 'I saw that'. Rolling my eyes again, I sit down at the mahogany table next to the brunette who has already gotten half-way through his food and shows no intention of stopping.

Gingerly taking a spoonful out of the rocky road, I observe the brunette stuffing his face. Curiosity getting the better of me, I ask, "How long as if been since you last ate?"

Kitten immediately pauses, swallowing the bite of Mac-n-cheese in his mouth before responding unwillingly, "About two days, I think."

I think my jaw drops to the floor. I don't think I've ever gone twelve hours without food; it's simply unfathomable. "How are you still  _alive?_ " I ask, awed.

That cute blush paints the brunette's cheeks and he shrugs, shoveling his fork into the green beans. Smiling softly at his embarrassment, I ask again, "You want a drink? We have water, milk, and mountain dew."

"Milk?" Kitten asks, looking like he might just faint from ecstasy. Laughing out loud, I nod, leaving my ice-cream at the table to accommodate his wishes.

When I get back with the glass of white, creamy liquid, Sora practically snatches it from my hands, gulping down half of it within ten seconds and three loud gulps, a small gasp escaping the brunette's lips when he finishes. "You are such a kitten," I finally tell him before I can stop myself, grinning amusedly at the milk moustache adorning his upper lip.

For a moment he looks offended, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "I am not," he argues, scrunching up his nose at me in an adorable way. I nod, arguing back. "Yes, you are."

Before Sora can retort, Roxas comments, "If you're done flirting with him, Riku, you could show him the shower."

Looking aghast toward my blonde friend, I defend myself, "I am not flirting! I'm merely stating the facts!"

"Uh-huh, whatever you say," the blonde continues, smirking slightly while Axel snickers, obviously on his companion's side. So much for supportive friends. But Sora laughs again, finally placing his fork onto the blue plate that once held food. He says, "Oh yeah, as if you're one to talk. What are you doing over there, cuddling?"

Immediately, I burst into laughter, 'ooo'-ing at the comeback, liking this little stray more and more. "Hey! What was that, Mr. Kitten?" Axel cries, feigning offense, "I thought you were on my side!"

"I am Switzerland," the brunette says smartly, and I laugh again, picking up his plate, empty cup and my ice-cream, retreating to the kitchen to place the dishes in the sink and the ice-cream in the freezer.

When I've accomplished that, I gesture the brunette over, offering, "Haha, come on Sora, let me get you a change of clothes and show you how to use the shower."

As we walk toward the bathroom, I hear Axel mutter, "Switzerland… more like Riku's wonderland…". Roxas gets my revenge for me, punching him lightly and rolling his eyes at the pathetic comeback. Smirking, I turn away from my friends. Luckily, Sora doesn't seem to have heard the comment and nods to me, smiling sheepishly.

When he joins me by my side, I take him to the main bedroom, trying to resist all perverted thoughts at all costs. I quickly find him a clean shirt and pants, asking him if he would mind borrowing a pair of my boxers, or something, considering the circumstances. He blushes, but says its fine and I hand him my clothes, trying to suppress a blush of my own. Gees, what is it about this lost Kitten? I never feel this flustered about anything… But I ignore my uneasiness, guiding him to the corner of the room where it opens into a short hall, leading to the white-tiled bathroom. Wasting no time, I explain where everything is and how to use the shower and such, then finally leave him to his privacy. I close the bathroom door with a relieved sigh; I didn't do anything stupid, thanking all the deities that be.

When I sit down onto one of the plush arm chairs next to the couch in the living room, I finally get the questions. "May I ask what _possessed_ you to pick up a random stranger off the street?" Roxas asks, turning towards me with one eyebrow raised.

"You tell me, man. I just… he looked like he needed me. I don't know, I just couldn't leave him alone," I admit, knowing a made-up excuse wouldn't slide. Nonetheless, Axel and Roxas share a significant glance, speaking telepathically in that weird way of theirs that drives me crazy all the time.

"What?" I ask, a bit annoyed. Roxas shrugs, but Axel says, "I personally don't care if he stays or not, but you realize that taking him in now will result in him staying forever? I don't think he has anyone, Riku." He makes a good point.

But, I had already thought about this while Kitten was eating. I sigh and shrug, replying, "I know but… I think this is the right thing to do. He seems like a good guy, but I'll try to get his story soon." Axel nods to this seriously, accepting the answer. But then quickly his trademark smirk resumes on his face and he teases, "Keep the kitten, but I'm not taking care of the fluff-ball, got it memorized?"

"Whatever," I retort, rolling my eyes, "You know I don't share anyway."


	2. Good Night Next to Me

_~Good Night Next To Me~_

About twenty minutes later, Sora walks out of the bedroom, clean as a Germ-X disinfected whistle and practically glowing with pheromones. I clench my hands just to stop myself from flitting to his side to touch him, but then unravel my fingers when I realize I'm being ridiculous. Being me, I can't lose my cool… And besides that, Sora's probably a little bit anxious as to what to do now. So, I get up, ignoring Axel's amused stare as he reads my every thought and motive (we've been friends since kindergarten), and stride  _calmly_ to Kitten, whose hair is still magically gravity-defying. I make a note to ask him about that, but for now, I say, "Feel better?"

"Immensely," the brunette says with a content smile. I inwardly applaud myself, and outwardly smile back, laughing a little as I guide him back to the living room.

"Hey Sora, guess what?" Axel immediately starts, arm tossed casually over Roxas' shoulder on the couch. The blonde doesn’t react, reading the book he was lost in earlier.

"Uhm… what?" Sora asks, only slightly shy, plopping down next to Axel on the couch when I shove him lightly there. I’ve got to figure out why I am unable to take being so close to him for more than five minutes. I swear this kid might be part angel; he's so addictively innocent and light, like those first rays of morning.

"Riku finished off the ice-cream while you were gone. I think he missed you," the fiery red-head exclaims, flashing his most mischievous smirk.

Immediately, Sora blushes lightly, but I tear my eyes away, averting them to glare at Axel from my position on the armchair. "Now how exactly is that fair?" I grunt, unable to come up with any other kind of comeback. Axel's smirk grows wider, knowing I've been cornered – but then I suddenly have a spark of brilliance. I continue louder, "I remember that one time Roxas left for the bathroom for _five minutes_ and you drank the whole pot of coffee."

Axel's smirk vanishes and he breathes, " _That was a secret_!"

Roxas joins the conversation, eyes drifting across the page of his book unceasingly, "No, it wasn't. It was pretty obvious when you couldn't sit still to the point of running five miles, dragging me behind you."

Sora giggles again, and I laugh along, watching in triumph as Axel faces devastation and shares his emotions on his face. "I don't remember that… why don't I remember that?"

Even Roxas is smiling behind his shield of paper and he replies to Axel's mutterings, "Coffee does many things, but even I don't know why you don't remember that. I almost passed out from a heat stroke and general exhaustion."

"Roxy, I am so sorry," Axel continues, attempting to give the blonde a hug as Roxas pushes him away with his book, leaning away with his back arched impossibly. As they continue their tirades of nonsense, I look over to Sora, who meets my eyes and mouths, “ _Roxy?_ ” Smirking, I nod and mouth back, _"Told you they are weird._ ” Surprisingly, he seems to get the message and laughs. He laughs harder when Axel sends me a rude hand gesture and I finally pounce into the fray, wrestling Axel to the ground in revenge.

When we are finally too tired to continue, Sora giggles again at our appearance as Roxas scowls at us. "Riku, your hair is a monstrosity – worse than after you wake up," the blonde says, rolling his eyes at our immaturity and my hair that is now similar to Sora’s.

"Shut up, Roxas. How do you know that I don't just have sex every night?" I toss back, shamelessly imaging hands in my hair and pulling. I let the fantasy go as quickly as it came, collapsing back in my armchair. Despite my flippancy at Roxas’s comment, I nonetheless attempt to untangle my silver locks with my fingers, too lazy and tired to get up and retrieve my hairbrush.

"We'd hear you," Roxas says cynically, causing my jaw to drop in outrage. Axel high fives him, and I get a great urge to hit him when Sora puts his hand over his mouth, trying to hide his smile and laughter.

"I don't think so! I make  _them_ moan," I retort, trying my best to keep my gaze away from the brunette giggling behind his hand, "Thank you very much."

"Uh-huh, whatever you say, Ricky."

"Don't call me that."

"Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky." Roxas taunts, unusually active in his deviousness.

"Now you're just asking for it!" I tell him, still too tired to get up and tackle him, demonstrating how violence isn't the answer 25% of the time.

"Are you guys always like this?" Sora finally asks, face red from laughing so much.

"Yep; got us memorized?" Axel says, smirking proudly as usual at the TV screen.

"I guess so," Sora says, looking adorable in my clothes. Only now have I received a real chance to look at him; earlier I was too entranced by his skin. The white shirt and silver basketball shorts that were mine are obviously oversized for him. Yet, oddly, it looks sexy on him in that easy-going, staying-home-today kind of way. I find myself thinking I want to see him like this all the time, when we are alone so no one else can see it. But why? I barely even know him!

"Alright, nighty-night time for Roxy and me," Axel suddenly exclaims, picking up Roxas and tossing him over his shoulder carelessly. Roxas’s protests of how he's reading and doesn't want to go to bed are completely ignored.

"But wait, you two aren't going to share the main bedroom bed, are you…?" I ask, wondering if the red-head is using Sora as an excuse to sleep with Roxas.

"Of course," Axel says plainly, confirming my musings, "so Sora has somewhere to sleep." Looking over to Sora again, I observe his awkward expression, like he doesn't like the idea of taking someone else's place. Deciding to end his feelings, I say, "Alright, that bed is meant for two people anyway." Axel sends me a grateful look and I roll my eyes back at him for the umpteenth time as he disappears into the main bedroom, closing the door with a soft click.

When the two sexually-tense friends leave, I turn to Sora, and gesture for him to get up. He complies, scrambling up and away from the couch without a single question.

"Hey, can you help me stack the cushions? Under them is the pull-out bed. It's not as comfortable as a real bed because there's no box-spring, but I figured you wouldn't let me offer you the bedroom…"

"You're right," he says simply, a small blush painting his cheeks as he picks up one of the 6 couch cushions. I pull the glass coffee table in the middle of the living room away, giving the pull-out bed space to outstretch. Together, we stack all the cushions onto the moved table and manage to untangle the metal frame into a bed, revealing the white mattress and sheets. I quickly obtain one of the pillows in a closet and plop it onto the bed.

"If you need anything, I'll be in the bedroom by the door, probably on my laptop," I tell him, shuffling awkwardly back, not wanting to leave him but not seeing any other excuse to being here. Awkwardly, he nods back, the small blush on his cheeks deepening in color. Sighing inwardly, I turn around and start to walk away, hearing the bed now behind me creak as Sora crawls into it.

Then suddenly, I hear loud crack and several crashing noises, followed by a single cry. "Eep!" a familiar voice calls out in surprise, and immediately I swivel around, rushing to Kitten's side. The bed had half-way collapsed, the bottom part on the ground with a piece of black metal on the floor about a foot away from where it should be. Sora looks on in horror, sprawled back, leaning on his elbows in alarm.

"Ah, shit," I say, holding out my hand for Sora to grab. He takes it and I help him off the bed, savoring the single second he spends on my chest from my pull and the way his small, dainty hand fits into mine. But still, I let him go to turn to him with an unsure expression.

"S-sorry," he says, looking at the bed with confusion.

I find it curious how he thinks it's  _his_ fault. I laugh and say, "Sora, it's not your fault. It's probably Roxas'; he doesn't sleep well alone." I glance pointedly at the bedroom door where Axel and Roxas lay inside, probably curled together unintentionally, deep in slumber. Following my gaze, dawning comes over his face and he smiles lightly.

"Sorry, I know they're a little weird," I tell him, shrugging helplessly.

"Oh… I don't think it's weird," he says, "its love… love is natural, not weird, no matter who you fall for." I turn back to him, meeting his deep blue eyes in surprise. If anything, I think I just died inside from happiness; he's flawless inside and out. I wonder if I should start thanking fate, for this meeting seems to make more and more sense, but I wonder if anything will come from it other than friendship. I wonder how long I'll be able to know this adorable form in front of me.

Realizing that I'm staring at him, I quickly opt to tell him I agree when he suddenly blushes deep red and brushes past me, walking away rather fast. Snapped out of my reverie, I follow him, grabbing his wrist in slight panic. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Uhm… out?" he says, sounding ashamed of himself.

The only thing I can feel is confusion. "Why?" I ask, keeping him in place with my firm (but non-painful) grip on his small wrist.

"There's nowhere else to sleep, so I might as well go now," he says simply, guilt lining every word. Inwardly, I melt again, sorrow planting a small seed in my heart. I'm sure he doesn't want pity, but I can't help but feel somewhat sad for him. I wonder how long he's been on the street, and how many times he's been abused because of it.

"Please don't," I plead softly, "I won't stop you if you really want to, but…"

Sora pauses, a small contemplative silence overcoming us. But slowly, he turns to me, eyes full of wonder and questions, but he doesn't ask any of them. Instead, he says, "I don't  _want_ to go, but you've already done so much. I shouldn't take more…"

"You aren't taking if it's being offered," I tell him, smirking a little. Knowing I've won, Sora stutters a bit, unable to come up with any reason not to stay.

"Well, we can share the other bedroom," I say, shrugging despite my light pink cheeks.

Blushing as well, Sora nods and I let go of his wrist, walking past him to show him the bedroom. It's rather tiny, the queen-sized bed taking up 85% of the room, only just enough room on either side of it to walk down to get to the mahogany side tables. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I walk down the left side and place it on the table, hooking it up to my charger that I plugged in previously that day.

We arrived earlier today (the bed collapsing because of Roxas' restless sleeping was a lie, though the blonde does have sleeping issues), and had a whole week here left. After I had unpacked and napped, I left the condo to get some gas and map out the area. Just as I was the driver to Florida, I would be the driver and navigator for all our adventures in the week to come. Despite the fun in store, the thought makes me sigh. A fantasy enters my mind – maybe Sora could stay with us for the week. I could tell him that I needed company, considering I am likely to become a third-wheel with Roxas and Axel's constant couple-like flirting. But in all honesty, I want to learn about Kitten; everything. Where he comes from, why and how he became stranded on the streets, what his favorite color is, his favorite music… It suddenly becomes my mission for the week, learning the soul inhabiting the beautiful body behind me. Though, I realize, it would be a miracle if he actually stayed.

"Uhm…" starts Kitten, "are you going to get on your laptop like you said you were?" He stands just past the doorway, obviously lost as to what to do next. Making a quick decision, I say, "Nah, it's late already. Aren't you tired?" I jerk my head towards his future side of the bed and taking the hint, he clambers on, collapsing with a little moan. Quirking my eyebrow up, I give him an odd look.

"You have no idea how wonderful this is," he tells me with a contented sigh, turning onto his side and curling into a ball.

I laugh slightly, though inwardly I'm perplexed for him. "Really? I feel guilty now; I think this bed is a back killer, but I'm glad you like it," I tell him, smiling down at him. Chuckling, he says, "I do like it, thank you," and slips under the covers, breathing deeply in and out, in and out. For several moments I just listen, loving the way his face looks so peaceful with his eyes closed, breathing as if he could die happy. I want to ask him about himself, but when I notice he's having trouble opening his eyes, I decide it can wait until tomorrow.

I slip off my shoes, socks, and pants, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Then I crawl under the covers too, making sure we aren't touching and turn out the lights. "Good night, Sora," I tell him, smiling softly when I receive a drowsy, "G'night…" in return. Only a minute later, Sora's breathing is light and constant, signaling he's already gone, curled into that kitty-like ball, possibly purring. Despite my attempts to drift off thinking about anything and everything unimportant, I find myself listening to his breathing and berating my hands when they twitch to touch his hair. But soon, exhaustion overcomes me too and enwraps me in the warm darkness, sending me to the land where a brunette angel loves me, his blue eyes deep but familiarly haunted. Only when I kiss him does the past turn away, and I love how I can make it disappear, and, without a doubt, I love him.


	3. Mexican Train

_~Mexican Train~_

When I wake up, surprisingly yet somehow expectedly, Sora and I are cuddled together. With his face turned into my chest, legs curled into my torso, and my arm under his neck, I have never awoken with such peace. His hair tickles my nose, the warmth of his body melting my own. That is, until I gather my thoughts and realize _who_ exactly is in my arms. Kitten could wake up any moment! What trouble I’d be in then! But I could barely gather enough willpower to move, using the excuse of my arm being under him that I shouldn't,  _couldn't_ , move. Then he’d wake up for sure, and I’d be caught. After some deliberation, I decide to stay still until Sora wakes up on his own and moves, then I could feign waking up by _his_ movement.

Content with my choice, I keep my eyes closed and breathe in the scent of his hair. It smells like my shampoo, something else that reminds me of a spring zephyr, and the non-fishy smell of the beach. I savor every brush of it against my senses until it finally fades away, a sense of disappointment momentarily twanging inside my heart. But even then, I find employment by the way he feels coiled against me, wondering how we became like this and why it feels so  _right_ and meant to be.  _This kind of thing only happens in fairy tales and romance novels,_  I think, nonetheless gripping my arm across Kitten's side ever-so-slightly tighter. A breath ushers quickly out of my lungs, relieving tension I didn't know was there. If this is a fairy tale, I should look into which god I should make a sacrifice to keep it.

Shortly after, Kitten stirs, and I do my best to relax, feigning sleep. For several moments, he squirms, stretching, and sighs, relaxed. It takes a full minute, but then he finally seems to realize where he is because he violently twitches. My heart sinks, but I continue to pay attention to his every move. Surprisingly, he doesn't move, turning me into a human question mark. He stays in place, even though he lifts his head off of my arm. He doesn't move my arm from across his side, and I wonder… why? Is it because he likes it there, or because he's too scared to move it, thinking I'll be angry and kick him out, or something? Puzzled, I decide to test it. Focusing on where my arm is now, I slide it down, adjusting myself in a way that will make it look like I'm asleep and just changing position. I stop my arm in the arch in his back, or where it would be if he weren't still curled, right above his ass (that reminds me of a button, because it's as cute as one).

His breath hitches, but once again he makes no attempts move it. I think about rolling away, thinking the hitch might be a sign of panic, but then his head rests on my arm again and he sighs a small, "Hnn…" If anything, I become more confused. So… he likes it…? But why? I am a guy, and a stranger, after all… however, there was that 'love is love' comment he made last night. Against my will, my heart feels a little lighter, hope forming inside it like a mother hen sitting on her eggs. I try to shoo the hen away, but she merely plucks at my fingers so I withdraw, realizing it can't be helped. Inwardly, I sigh; if Axel could hear my thoughts, I'd be in for a week of teasing.

For the longest time, I've been rejecting romance of any kind. I don't need anyone except my friends really, and I haven't felt that immense attraction to anyone so I just moved on. I learned to live without that love, even rejecting its presence in others. I would tease Axel for his tears during Titanic (even though I was sniffling) and call him a sap for his sighs when we watch chick flicks. But, I suppose it’s all been a ruse. In secret, I’m the guy that watches endless hours of sappy romance anime. The guy that reads classic romance literature, like _Pride and Prejudice_. Maybe that’s why, even though I give Axel shit for it, I always go with him to watch the sappy movies. But at the end of the day, I’ve never felt drawn to someone in real life. Not even in porn. I figured I was too idealistic, that I wouldn’t seriously date no matter how attractive they were because they weren’t meeting some subconscious, bullshit standard I had. So why is it that I'm practically falling apart over the one in my arms? It simply doesn't make sense. As soon as he walked up to the car my senses skyrocketed, as if I had just driven out of a fog. I can't decide whether I like this or not.

But I really have no  _time_ to decide. As if on cue, an obnoxious knock raps on my door, and it opens. I continue to pretend to be asleep – Sora does the same, not moving a muscle. If I weren’t playing possum I’d chuckle at our synchronization. A familiar chuckle fills the room softly, and Axel whispers, "Hey! Riku!"

When I make no movement, he taps his knuckles on the door frame loudly. "I know you're awake, man, come on.” A pause. “Well, fine, be that way, but I came to tell you that Roxy and I are going to the beach, with or without you. We leave in ten minutes," he finishes. He walks out without any further delay, closing the door surprisingly softly behind him. I stay still and Sora follows suit, listening to the noises of the condo. From outside the room, I hear Roxas and Axel's muffled conversations and within two minutes, instead of the ten, the back-door slides open then closes. Confirming my suspicions of shameless abandonment, the condo is blanketed in silence.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. Did Sora believe Axel when he said I was awake? I could never fool Axel with that ploy, but that never stopped me from pretending. Sure enough, after the couple moments of silence used to make sure we are really alone, Sora whispers, "Are you awake?"

Sighing inwardly from the defeat of being caught, I open my eyes slowly. "Yeah, sorry. I didn't want to wake you up," I half lie, staying still, waiting for his reaction.

He doesn't move either, but he only looks mildly surprised. "It's ok, I didn't want to wake you up either," he says, smiling. Still, neither of us moves and time suspends itself for several long moments as we just stare at each other. I get the strongest urge to kiss the innocent, cherub face merely six inches from mine, but I know I shouldn't. I don't, shaking my head to pop the moment even though my heart screams violently at me for it.

I am successful; after I shake my head, berating myself, Sora detaches himself from me, sitting up and dangling his legs over the side the bed, back turned to me. I do my best to ignore the feeling of loss. I sullenly pull the covers back and sit up too, legs slightly bent up in front of me as I begin to wind my fingers through my hair painfully. When I grumble exasperatedly from the pain crawling all over my scalp, Sora turns around curiously, only to giggle at my attempts of order in my silver mass. Crawling over, he takes some of my hair and untangles the strands softly, not saying a word. Shocked at his boldness, I stop completely, observing him with wide eyes. When a whole minute goes by and he doesn't pull away, determinedly fixing my hair, I drop my hands, deciding to let him work on it considering I'm a failure at it anyway. I feel his long, thin fingers tugs softly but painlessly through the strands, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine. I bite back a moan, wishing I didn't have a fetish for hair-pullers.

By the time Sora is done, I am so content I want to go back to sleep, but Sora gets up and pleads me over to him with his eyes. I reckon he probably doesn’t want to be alone in a condo he's technically not supposed to be in. Thus, I slide tiredly out of bed, feet momentarily stepping on my clothes from yesterday. I contemplate putting them back on, but I opt for a pair of sweat pants instead. Real clothes can happen after I shower.

We drift to the kitchen silently due to my lingering morning mood, meaning I don't want to talk much. Sora looks like he has many things he wants to say, but thinks better of it and just follows my lead. I gesture to the coffee pot half-way full, but Kitten shakes his head. Shrugging, I nod, agreeing with his choice; I don't drink coffee in the morning either. So, I move onto offering him toast or cereal, getting out two pieces of cinnamon raisin bread for myself, along with butter and jam. One good thing about Axel and Roxas being gone: the redhead gags every time I get out my favorite toast bread, calling raisins the wrinkled testicles of Satan. Well, whatever, more for me. While I’m off in space, Sora takes the box of cereal out of my hands, fingers brushing mine ever-so-slightly. A little shiver goes down my spine like earlier. I briefly wonder if I’ll ever get used to it.

Suddenly feeling more awake, I tell him quietly, "The milk's in the fridge."

He takes the two steps over to it and opens the white appliance. Before he bends down to grab his beloved milk (that I just remembered was his favorite yesterday), he tosses a brilliant smile over his shoulder to me and says, "Got it. Thanks." Feeling suddenly weak, I scramble up my wits enough to lift my hand to dismiss the thanks, whirling around 'carelessly' to make my toast.

I blame just waking up for all the effect Sora has on me.

We get to the kitchen table at about the same time. I am relieved that this time, Sora eats much more normally, though he made a rather large bowl of Lucky Charms. I eat my toast without much thought to its taste, much more preoccupied with observing my stray. Even in the morning, his hair is as perfect as it ever was, still spiky all over, the two 'kitty ears' in place. I envy him for this, but it's mostly admiration. Suddenly, all my questions come back. Where did he come from? Why was he abandoned?

"What?" he asks, looking at me curiously. I realize I must've been staring and blink, wondering if I should just go ahead and ask, or continue to wait.

Not sure what other option I have, I go ahead and inquire, "Would you be willing to tell me how someone like you ended up on the streets?"

His face reveals how shocked he is by the question, but only a moment later does the feeling collapse, replaced by embarrassment and discomfort. "Uhm… well, long story short, I was disowned by my parents," he says, obviously not willing to telling me everything. He starts playing with the remains of soggy cereal in his bowl, not daring to meet my eyes.

"Why?" I venture further, determined.

A blush taints his cheeks, and I idly note that he blushes a lot, but still wait for his answer. A long pause ensues but Sora does nothing to break it, staring at his silver spoon. When I get the point that he isn't going to indulge anymore, I say, "Ok, you can't tell me then…" I want to pester him further about it, but my conscience stops me from reaching out.

"Sorry," he says, continuing to avoid my gaze, "I-"

"I get it," I tell him, knowing he doesn't trust me yet. For some reason, it hurts a little bit, albeit I know it's perfectly normal. Therefore, I disregard it the best I can, continuing, "How about we start somewhere easier then? And we'll take turns asking questions. Capisce?" The guilty expression on Sora vanishes, replaced with an easier smile and he nods. "Bring it on."

Toast forgotten, I grin mischievously. "Alright, I will. Hmm… alright, this is easy; what's your favorite color?"

Sora grins and replies without skipping a beat, "Red."

"Hm," I respond, leaning back in my chair while crossing my arms. I smirk, nodding to signal him to ask me a question in turn. Sora makes a thoughtful face before asking, "Ok, uhm… how old are you?"

"Turning nineteen this Thursday," I say, "and you?"

"18… Uhm, where are you from?"

"Texas, but don't you even dare ask about a Texas drawl, because I lack one and take great pride in that. Oh and also; everything isn't bigger in Texas," I inform him, giving him a warning look.

"Alright, alright," he says, laughing, "question?"

"Where are  _you_ from?" I copy him again, curiosity preventing me from thinking of any other question.

He looks a little uncomfortable with the question, but he answers hesitantly notwithstanding, "…Mississippi."

_Ah,_ I think immediately,  _isn't that state ranked as one of the most homophobic states of the United States? That's the only thing I can recall about it except when it was partially hit by Hurricane Katrina…_ Before I can stop myself, I pry further, "How did you end up in Florida then?"

He doesn't answer this time, only squirms in his seat uncomfortably. "So, do you have any plans for college?" he asks, changing the subject.

I sigh, slightly frustrated and disappointed, but answer nonetheless, "I know I'm going to  _go_ to college, I just have no idea of where I want to go and what I want to do."

"You'll figure it out," he tells me with a smile. The confidence he has in me gives me a strange, warm fluttering feeling in my stomach, but I ignore it, giving him a small smile before asking, "So, favorite food?"

"Oooh, definitely steak!" he says enthusiastically. I laugh at the eagerness and excitement in his eyes just from the thought of the delectable meat. "What? It's good, and you know it!... What's your favorite food then?" he finishes, cocking his head to the side slightly. My first instinct is to reply 'you' but I catch myself, slightly disturbed.

Laughing a little nervously, I say, "Uhm… ice cream, if you didn't notice. I don't really have a favorite flavor, it just depends on my mood."

Sora giggles, his cereal now forgotten. "I never would've pinned you as the sweets type," he manages to choke out, still laughing at me.

"Hey! What are you saying? I'm still manly if that's what you're questioning," I retort defensively, trying to push down the blood rushing to my face. He continues to giggle, but it isn't long before they die down and I scowl at him, causing him to smirk at me rebelliously.

Feeling like the question game might turn dangerous if I let it continue, I frantically try to think of something to change the situation. My eyes scan the room in vain – that is, until I remember my two friends. "Hey, you wanna go to the beach?" I ask, feeling relieved I thought of something.

"Err…" Sora says, suddenly looking a bit forlorn, "We can if you want to."

"What, you don't want to go?" I ask, confused by his negative response to the idea.

"Well…" he looks like he wants to say something, but then he drops the expression, adopting a look of determination, "Sure, why not? Let's go," he finishes, smiling. There's something about that smile that I really don't like. It's as beautiful as it always is, but there's something off about it, like it's forced. Like he's about to do something he'll regret, but he has to do it.

I don't understand it at all, but it's clear that we aren't leaving the condo.

"Meh," I grunt, "Never mind. I don't feel like getting all sandy today. Why don't we do something else like…" my eyes scan the room like they did earlier until they fall on the kitchen counter behind Sora. As if planted by fate, a box of dominoes lay directly behind Kitten's head. "Mexican Train!"

"Mexican Train?" he asks, the suspicious, fake smile gone. I breathe out a sigh of relief, resonating with the guilty relief in Sora's eyes, but I decide to ignore it; the trouble has passed, whatever it was.

"Yeah, it's a dominoes game. Can you get the box of them from behind you?" I tell him. He immediately responds, stretching around to grab the box, almost dropping it from its unexpected heavy weight. I laugh and apologize for not warning him, telling him to be careful. He doesn't respond, just sets it onto the table distractedly. I want to ask him about it, but I have a feeling he won't answer. Usually, I'm impatient with people who carry baggage and secrets. Yet, there's something hidden about him that makes him shine, like a jewel hidden under an inch of brown ugly rock; you just have to dig to get to the prize. He doesn't seem to be like one of those people who brag about their sufferings and delight in self-pity, so maybe that's why I like him so much. Still, I tell myself I need to be careful because there's so much I still need to learn, so much I need to watch. I feel like if I leave him alone for more than five minutes he'll bolt, which he probably will, and that worries me more than it should.

I ask him again if he wants to play the game and he finally snaps out of it, nodding enthusiastically. So, I explain the game and shuffle the dominoes, raising my voice when the clicking noises of the dominoes threaten to drown it. Sora catches onto it quickly and we start playing, soon becoming competitive even though the game is almost completely based off of luck.

Even when I lose several rounds drastically, I can't help but feel like I've won every time an hour goes by and he's still right there. Every time he fist-pumps excitedly when he is triumphant in the game (smiling as if he won the lottery, mind you), my heart beats faster. Every time he acts as if he's known me all my life and has been by my side that same amount of time, I melt. Every time I see him relax as if he's at home, I internally tally another victory, because every moment he's here I chip away pieces of the grimy and rocky layer surrounding his pure heart, obsessively awaiting the moment when I will get to the diamond in the rough.


	4. Silverfish

_~Silverfish~_

On our fifth round of Mexican Train, Axel and Roxas finally show up, dripping wet and sandy. Instantaneously I abandon the game, not because I'm losing, but because I don't want the dynamic duo to get water and grime all over the condo floor. Sora helps me as I gather towels and force them to wash off, though they don't complain much. They are much more concerned with all the green little pieces of seaweed that somehow managed to get into every crevice on their bodies reachable. Upon this discovery, I become ten times more grateful that Sora and I stayed inside today.

Surprisingly, as soon as Axel and Roxas are clean, they ask to join our game so we start over. Axel, mischievous as ever, adds to the stakes; whoever has the most points at the end of each round has to take a shot, flavored vodka provided by the redhead himself.  When I ask him where he got the (illegal) alcohol, he only winks at me, making me very uncomfortable and nervous. I do not hold my liquor well. Suddenly determined to win the rounds, or at least not end up with the most points, the game becomes very competitive. Time soars by and we play till about midnight, every single one of us (including Sora) having taken two or more shots of vodka, considering we played 12 rounds of the domino game.

"Hey, Roxy, are you drunk yet?" asks Axel, who had the most shots. I muse that it is likely on purpose; he’s loved drinking since high school.

"In your dreams, Axel," the sarcastic blonde replies, pushing Axel away clumsily. If Axel were any more sober, he'd realize that Roxas is lying, but of course he isn't and is missing his chance for any seduction (which is actually a really good thing for me and Sora).

"Have more vodka then!" the red-head demands, trying to hand him the bottle.

"No, you py- py… Riku, what's the word for someone who's oppressed with fire?" Roxas slurs, giving me a dazed stare.

"You mean 'obsessed' and 'pyromaniac'," I inform him, knowing full well that he'll forget what I said in five minutes. Still, the blonde nods, turning to Axel to tell him what I said, only to bump straight into pyromaniac's face, their lips locking together clumsily. Despite my telepathic attempts to tell them to stop, they continue to kiss, falling all over themselves till they reach the couch, making out as if no one else is in the room. Feeling my cheeks go up in flames, I turn to Sora, unable to come up with the words to say.

"Sorry," is all I manage to come up with. Sora, who won the game and had the least amount of alcohol (thank god) only giggles, nodding in understanding. "How often do they do this?" he asks, watching the couple stumble over and laugh at each other.

"Not often, only when they drink," I reply, watching in amusement as well, "You know, they aren't drunk enough to forget this in the morning."

Sora's grin widens, hinting toward mischief as he nods. "Long time coming though, right?"

"You have no idea." Sora laughs, turning to me. "It sounds like you've been with them a long time," he says, curiosity shining through his eyes innocently.

"Yeah, since sixth grade actually. They got like this toward the end of 8th grade… I will never understand why it's taken them so long to get together already," I divulge to him, glancing to my friends fondly despite their idiocy.

"Wow…" he says contemplatively, "That's a long time to be the third wheel."

"Oh," my eyes meet his again, wide in surprise, "No, it's not like that! Well, sometimes. But they're the best friends anyone could ever have," I tell him, smiling now, "They've been with me through thick and thin."

"Then you're very fortunate?"

"You know it, Kitten," I affirm him, momentarily forgetting I shouldn't call him that. I guess I'm a little more buzzed than I thought. Still, I don't really care; I turn and leave the living room, tossing Sora a cocky smile over my shoulder.

He follows me to our shared room (shared room so far, I guess I should say) looking at me curiously as I put my hair up carelessly. I turn on the TV that rests on top the mahogany dresser across from the bed. When he continues to stand in the doorway somewhat awkwardly, I motion him to crawl into bed beside me, gesturing with my hand (that holds the remote to the t.v.) that we can watch the flashing screen. I hope to find some kind of movie, considering the living room seems to be occupied and the only thing to do in here is Sora or watch something. Obviously, the only option is the second one.

Complying, Sora sits next to me, back leaning against the back board of the bed. I flip through a bunch of different channels before giving up with a sigh, stopping on an old rerun of  _That 70's Show._ Nonchalantly, I tell my brunette companion, "You can change it if you want, I just don't know what else to watch." He looks at the screen contemplatively before shrugging, turning his head toward me.

"Well, now that we are in a divulgator-y mood, what might thy divulge?" he says, mocking a British accent.

"That was from  _Pirates of the Caribbean_ ," I reply stupidly, awed that someone else knows the greatness of the pirate movies from Disney. Of course, almost everyone has seen the series. It’s just much more novel under the guise of inebriation.

The brunet giggles and nods, continuing in his fake accent, "Now, don't be silly. I'm quite serious, sir, I have many questions for you."

Smitten with the adorable form next to me, I mock his accent, "Well then, by-Joe, ask your inquiries but make haste! I don't have all night, you know."

Dropping the accent, he asks seriously, "What about you?"

"Huh?" I ask back, eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion.

"I mean, Axel and Roxas have each other, but what about you?" he persists, looking shyly at the blanket under us.

A little taken back by the question, for a moment all I can do is stare at Kitten blankly before the question clicks. "Oh," I say, gathering my thoughts, "Uhm, no one, I guess."

"That's odd," he says, though if I didn't know any better I'd say he sounds happy by my answer. Like that makes sense.

"How is it odd?" I ask, playing with the end of the silver strands of my ponytail. Somehow, I feel uncharacteristically shy and nervous, scared Sora is going to figure me out.

"You're really good looking so I thought you would have a girlfriend or something…" he says, his trademark blush coming onto his cheeks.

I laugh, flattered but relishing how ironic this is. "Thank you, Sora… but really, I guess I just haven't found that special person yet," I tell him honestly while thinking that  _he_ could be that special person. I try to ignore the thought that I know he can't, because we aren't staying here forever. It's makes me sad to think about it. So, I change the subject, "What about you? Know any special girl?" I really hate saying it much less asking it, but I am rather curious so I keep my gaze steady upon him, monitoring his reaction.

"No, definitely not," he says, displeased, "I have girl  _friends_ but that's the way it's going to stay." I can't tell if he's bitter about this or not, or why he would be if he is. But still it gives me hope; after all, that eliminates roughly half the population to compete with, technically.

But my thoughts are swept away as a random one takes its place. On a whim, I ask him, "Hey Sora, why don't you just stay with us the whole week we are here?" I want to also ask him to come home with us, but I know that's stupid question; even though he's as cute as a kitten, he isn't a pet you can just whisk away.

He looks taken aback by the sudden change of conversation as well as the content of the question. Respectfully, I let him take a moment of silence to contemplate everything, hoping desperately that he'll stay with me, at least for a little longer. Anything for another moment.

"Are… are you sure that's ok?" he asks, hesitant.

"Yeah… Come on, Axel and Roxas  _are_ great, but I still need someone to entertain me," I tell him jokingly, giving him a light shove on the shoulder. "So, relax alright? And don't try to take off on me."

Sora smiles wide, his deep blue eyes lighter and brighter. "Alright, I won't."

"Good," I say, sobering up the moment. "So, now what?"

"We find one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies on TV–"

"Pop some popcorn if we have any," I interject.

"And watch it, quoting Cap'n Jack Sparrow as it goes along," Sora finishes, grin wide. This kid is brilliant; where has he been all my life? Oh yeah, freakin' Mississippi.

Nodding in assent, I continue, "Well, we never really had dinner; wanna order pizza or take-out? I'm starving."

"Riku, it's midnight," he informs me skeptically, "Nothing will be open at this time of night."

"Oh, yeah, you're right… hmm… Popcorn it is, then," I say with a smile. Hopping off the bed to make the buttery kernels, I leave Sora to find the movie. I inwardly cross my fingers, hoping he finds it, because who doesn't like Johnny Depp?

* * *

The next morning, we wake up at about the same time, wound together in a tangle of limbs just like the morning before. When I open my eyes, Kitten's face is  _right there_ and I swear if Sora hadn't already been staring at me, I would've kissed him. Instead, I chuckle nervously, not moving away but compelled to comment, "How do we always end up like this?"

He smiles shyly, shrugging in my arms somewhat helplessly. "I don't mind it," he tells me. He's really good at attacking my heart in the morning, I'm learning to realize. His comment just made it ten times harder to restrain myself. Well, kittens  _are_  mischievous, jumping into the middle of the highway out of pure curiosity. I guess they can do that though, considering they have nine lives.

I blink, trying to shake my thoughts away to replace them with safe ones. Listening to the condo, I wonder if it's empty or not, taking into account its unusual silence. Did Axel and Roxas just leave us behind today without a fair warning, or are they still crashed out in their room, too lazy/hung over to move?

"That's good 'cause I don't think it can be helped… Anyway, plan of action? Should we go see if Axel and Roxas are in?" I offer, tilting my head a little so I'm not so close to his tempting lips.

"I guess so…" he replies somewhat reluctantly, moving languidly out of my arms. Feeling that familiar sense of loss that's becoming rather recurrent the longer Kitten stays here, I sit up much like yesterday, realizing suddenly that I _really_ need a shower. Because we were so preoccupied with Mexican Train, I had totally forgotten my intent yesterday.

"Hey, I'm going to take a quick shower, ok? You can go make breakfast or whatever," I tell him, gathering some clean clothes from the big dresser. "When I get out, I can get you some more clothes and you can take one too; there should be enough hot water."

When Sora replies, "That's fine with me," I leave the room, reaching the bathroom across the hall in about two seconds. I take an extremely quick shower, not really caring about the relaxing warm water. Roxas would be so proud – normally, I’m hogging the hot water for forty minutes at a time. Considering the blonde is the only other bath lover, he’s always teasing me, asking if I’ve found Narnia in the drain. But for once, I just want to get out and spend more time with Kitten- and leave as much hot water for him as possible.

When I get out, dry off, and attempt to get dressed, I realize too late that I forgot to get a shirt. Sighing in annoyance at myself through the mirror, I brush damp hair, glad it isn't horribly tangled, before stepping out of the bathroom. Despite the brevity of the shower, accompanying me is a puff of steam, causing a small scowl. I turn my attention to the room across the hall, where my shirts rest in the set of drawers. I turn to stride there, but the effort is momentarily hindered when I practically collide into none other than Sora. Surprised to see me, his eyes widen but when he looks down my chest to my favorite khaki shorts (it has so many pockets; it's my best friend I swear) his mouth drops open slightly. Inwardly, I'm purely shocked; is he checking me out?

Sora begins to sputter, and I look at him expectantly, holding back amused chuckles. "Y-you uhm, wh-what-"

"You ok, shortie?" Axel asks, popping up out of nowhere. Sora practically jumps out of his skin, whipping around to look at the also shirtless redhead. Axel raises his eyebrow at Kitten's violent reaction. "Y-yeah, I'm fine," Sora says finally, backing away from the 'almighty tallest'. I sigh. Axel to the rescue – _not_!

"You have the worst timing ever, Axel," I tell him crossly, lightly glaring at him through my hair. Sora looks sheepishly away from both of us, hands in his pockets with a cute, pink blush.

"I thought you already knew that," he replies, crossing his arms cockily as he looks down on me.

Scowling, I opt to wipe that pompous smile off his face. With a devious smirk, I comeback, "I did. So, what do  _you_  remember from last night?" Instantly, Axel pales slightly and, I think for the first time _ever_ , blushes, glaring at me like I should just go die. I cackle in response, though I wonder exactly how far they went if  _Axel_ is embarrassed.

"Axel! What the hell did you do with my boxers?" the blonde cries out from within their bedroom. Unlike Axel, Roxas always has perfect timing. Heh, well, I guess this answers my question. From inside their bedroom, I can hear frantic shuffling noises, obviously Roxas searching for said garments. Axel rubs the nape of his neck sheepishly, his mouth set into an open frown as if he were about to hiss.

"Yeah, Axel, what  _did_ you do with his boxers?" I ask him sarcastically, a little loud so Roxas knows I heard. With a grimace, a momentary glare, and then a sheepish expression, Axel slinks off back to our blonde friend, muttering, “How the hell should I know? I wasn't paying attention to  _that_ …”

When the bedroom doors closes shut again, all that can be heard is the dynamic duo bickering like an old married couple. I hope they never change. Both Sora and I turn to each other with blank expressions – that is, until we both burst into uncontrollable laughter. I'm not exactly sure how Sora can find this so amusing, but knowing Axel and Roxas for a long time, I sure as hell can. Before I know it, I'm laughing so hard my stomach aches and my eyes are watering, leaning on the wall for support. After about a minute of incessant mirth, Sora grips my shoulder to keep himself standing, but upon his touch some of the humor goes away. I suddenly realize that I am, in fact, missing a shirt, and Sora is  _touching_ me so my laughter slowly drifts off. Maybe Sora realizes to the same thing because his giggles die off too, pulling away from me even though he pants from the effort of laughing so hard.

"You look like you're about to cry," Sora says somewhat teasingly, looking up from his bent over position, hands resting on his knees.

"Oh, be quiet," I pout, trying to recover my cool façade by leaning against the wall with my arms crossed, "I have a right to cry; now I'm going to have to watch them make out all the time."

"Oh, poor Riku, being subject to the horrors of PDA," Sora responds sarcastically, standing up straight now. He sends me a cocky smile and I can't help but smile back, responding, "Yes, I may go blind… Ugh, I hope they don’t break anything in that room; there’s a deposit, you know," I rant, rubbing my face with my hands.

Thinking of the state of the condo reminds me Sora had a date with the bathroom. Remembering all my earlier motives, I continue, "You want to take a shower now? I can go get you another change of clothes while I find a shirt."

Laughing again shortly, he says, "Sure. You make me feel like a kid, catering to my every need or something."

"Hnn, well, it's called being polite to a guest. Not only that, you're special," I inform him, leaving my post at the wall before walking to our bedroom. Sora trails behind me, replying curiously, "How am I special?"

I pause, taking my time as I bend over to the drawers, pulling out a shirt for me and a whole set of clothes for him. How is he _not_ special? That's my question. But still, I need some kind of answer to him. "Uhm… well, you just are," I tell him vaguely, "It's not like I offer rides to just anyone, you know."

"Or places to stay," he concedes, taking the larger stack of clothes out of my arms so I can slip my random white undershirt on (I thought: "this is good enough"). Once I get the garment on, I nod to him and say, "Well, have fun, but not too much," shaking my head toward the bathroom. With a smile, he nods back and leaves, unaware of my burning gaze upon him as he saunters away.

Sighing gruffly, I leave the room too once the sound of running water meets my ears and enter the kitchen, once again making my favorite toast for breakfast. Pretty soon after I sit down at the table, Roxas emerges from the room, fully dressed, blue eyes unusually bright.

"Hey, have you seen my book?" he asks me, eyes scanning the area.

"Mm, I think you left it on the kitchen counter," I reply, biting into my toast, "By the way, congrats. Took you long enough."

To this the blonde looks at me with wide eyes, caught. A rare light blush paints his cheeks but he smiles nonetheless, responding, "Thanks, Riku."

"Yeah, Riku, thanks for the blessing and all, but now it's your turn, got it memorized? Catch the kitten before he slips away," Axel interjects, emerging from his room and making a beeline straight for the refrigerator.

"Tsk, yeah, I'll get right on that. And how exactly am I supposed to do that? He's not a pet, Axel – I can't just take him home with me," I reply doubtfully, glancing longingly toward the bathroom door.

"Figure it out, wise one. I'm just saying that if you let him go, you'll regret it," Axel says carelessly, knocking things around in the fridge. I glower at him;  _thanks man, you're a bunch of help._ He continues, a little softer, “I’ve never seen you this way, so I’ll be mad, too.” At least that is kind of supportive. I shrug, feeling touched.

"Think about it, Riku," Roxas starts contemplatively, causing me to divert my attention to him, "If he's homeless, he's got nowhere else to go… It's all about trust. If you can get him to trust you, then he'll go with you anywhere. Just remember that he's still a guy, and doesn't want to be babied. He  _wants_ to take care of himself."

As always, Roxas surprises me with his insight. "Yeah, you're right. I just wish I knew how to get him to let me in. He's got secrets and they obviously weigh him down… But I have this feeling that whatever happened wasn't his fault, but he blames himself for it, anyway. He's that kind of guy. I mean, who becomes homeless at eighteen?" I inform them, shaking my head.

"You'll get it, don't worry," my blonde friend reassures me, placing his hand on top of mine, "You have plenty of time, too. It's only the second day, you know."

With a short laugh, Axel joins the conversation again, "Heh, listen to Roxy. He's the one who's good at this kind of thing."

"And you're horrible at it," Roxas replies, his cheeky grin back in place.

"Shush it, you know you love me."

"Hey, I didn't say-"

"Can it, guys," I reprimand them with a grin. "All seriousness aside, what's the plan for the day?"

"The beach, obviously!" Axel replies enthusiastically before chugging down half the milk carton. “You haven’t gone yet!” I would get angry at the pyro for drinking it straight out of the container but he's done it too many times for me to protest anymore, knowing it's a lost battle.

"But what about all that seaweed?" I implore them, very hesitant to dive into the idea when I just took a shower not even twenty minutes ago.

"Eh, it's not that bad. The only reason we had so much on us yesterday was because we had a fight with the seaweed as our ammo," Axel answers, waving his hand dismissively.

"That's just gross, Axel."

"You're telling me," Roxas replies with a pained expression, "He started it."

"You were asking for it, Roxy."

"And how exactly was I ask-"

"Fighting again already?" a familiar voice asks from the bathroom hall area.

All three of us turn to Sora, joining him into the conversation readily. "Trust me, Sora, this is one of their good days," I inform him.

"We don't fight  _that_ much," the redhead protests, sending Roxas a 'back me up here!' look.

"Yeah, we do," Roxas says rebelliously, smirking at his lover. Oh, how weird it is to say that. I guess I should've gotten used to it a long time ago, huh?

Sora giggles, coming to sit next to me at the table as I watch at Axel's exasperated expression amusedly. As Roxas and Axel continue to banter, I turn to Sora, asking him, "What do you think about the beach today?"

I nervously await his answer, considering his weird reaction to it yesterday. But apparently, I worry over nothing because he contemplates the offer normally. He holds his chin almost like he’s feigning thought before he grins widely and replies, "Why not? When do we go?"

Searching his face for any ulterior motives and finding none, I heave a sigh of relief and smile back, replying, "Whenever these two idiots can pull it together."

"Bring it on, silverfish!" Axel responds heatedly, rushing out of the room and into his own, most likely to retrieve and put on his swim trunks. Roxas laughs and follows the redhead, calling after him, "Silverfish… nice one."

Scowling, I stand up. "Silverfish… that's new."

"But can you swim like one?" Sora replies smartly.

I sure hope I can because if I don't swim away fast enough, I'm going to be caught by this frisky kitten… And trust me, there's no turning back after that.


	5. Deja Vu And Predictions

~ _Déjà vu and Predictions_ ~

While Roxas and Axel stumble over each other to get ready for the beach, I soon find out that I only have one pair of trunks available for swimming. For a moment, all I can do is panic slightly, because I realize that if I offer to get Sora a pair from a store or something, he'll vehemently refuse, saying he doesn't want to waste my money. I'm not saying I blame him, but it really isn't as much trouble as he thinks it is...

Then the solution hits me; I can just say that  ** _I_**  want a new bathing suit. If I'm getting it for myself then he'll have no complaints, right? Although I'm rather certain he'll figure out my reverse psychology, I can still play the part and maybe he'll be somewhat convinced.

"Bleh," I say, taking out my old, navy blue swim trunks, "I'm really tired of these."

"Why?" Sora asks interestedly from his spot on the bed, his legs swaying as they dangle off the bed.

"I’ve had them for years, I don’t think they’ll fit…" I reply, lying, "You want to use these? I wanna get a new pair at the store."

Sora glances from my nonchalant face to the rumpled trunks in my hands surprisingly unsuspectingly. "Uh… sure," he agrees plainly, taking the shorts lightly into his lap. Inwardly, I pat myself on the back for my victory, wondering somewhat distantly, _just_ _how gullible is this kitten?_

Then, Axel knocks on the door, letting himself in not even a second later. As I am used to this, I don't look very surprised albeit the brunette jumps slightly when the door opens loudly. "What's taking you guys?" the pyromaniac asks, leaning against the door frame in that cocky way of his.

I scowl at his annoying entrance. "You should really learn how to not barge into someone else's room."

Axel waves his hand dismissively. "Eh, I just saved you the trouble of turning the doorknob, there's no need to thank me."

Sora giggles so I roll my eyes, retorting, "Whatever." Although it isn't a very good comeback, it's all I got, much to my dismay. Once Sora started giggling, my train of thought fell off its tracks, landing in a river 50 feet below, thus exploding into a million pieces with a nice bang that Axel would surely appreciate for its spark. At least I'm good at creating similes and metaphors.

"Anyway," Axel continues, his trademark smirk softening into a conversational smile, "back to my question. What's the hold up? Roxy and I wanna go already, man."

I realize with a start that he's right; I just now notice that the redhead is shirtless with only his swim trunks on and sandals, completed with his hair back in his attempt to postpone tangles. I hate to burst his bubble, but… "Well, I need to get a pair of new swim trunks before we go," I inform him with pleading eyes. _Please don’t question it, please don’t question it…_

He doesn't get it. "What do you mean? I remember you packed those ne-" His eyes fall on Sora and instantly I see the pieces falling into place through the expression on his face. With a silent 'o' and a belated look of understanding towards me, he recovers, "Oh wait, I remember now. You told us you wanted a new pair on the ride here, didn't you?" Thank you, Axel, for your uncanny skill at lying. "Alright man, just let me tell Roxas and get a shirt on, and we'll all go to a place I saw on the way here. The place's going out of business so everything's like… 75% off or something."

I get an urge to tease him about his shopping fetish and his eye for sales, but for once I hold back. I don't want him to blow my cover, which I know he's capable of. "Alright, thanks Ax," I call after him instead, turning to find my shoes as he walks away.

"You and Axel's teamwork skills astound me," Sora says for the first time in the last five minutes, hopping off the bed to look for his own shoes.

"Why so?" I ask, slipping on my socks.

"Well," he explains as he shuffles around the room, "you two know each other so well that you guys just… fit together. That's the only way I know how to explain it. My family and friends were never like that with each other."

I look up, surprised at his frank answer. I've always known that some families and friends are patched up like a pair of old jeans in their attempts to harmonize with each other, but the way Sora says it makes it sound so heartbreaking. I find myself thinking that Sora deserves friends and family that support and understand him; I'm outraged that his obviously didn't, given his situation. My question is how could someone possibly hurt this angelic kitten? As far as I know, he's done nothing wrong… But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I still don't know a lot about him. Nonetheless, you know you've met someone special when they glow like he does.

"I-I'm sorry to hear that," I say somewhat awkwardly, choking back all the many things I would  _like_ to say, "Well, now you have us, right?"

To my question he responds with a small smile, eye closed as he lets out a small huff as if chuckling. "For now."

I'm about to respond to Sora's melancholic, concerning retort when Roxas comes into the room, asking in rushed tone, "Hey, have you seen my sandals?"

Sighing roughly, I reply genially, "They are probably outside the back door." He left them there when he came back from the beach, I'm reminded.

"Thanks, Riku," he says apologetically and I wave him away, standing. When I look over my shoulder to Sora, he's ready to go, picking at the little balls of fuzz on the comforter of our bed.

"Ready to go?" I ask him, just in case.

Nodding, he stands, his smile intact again. Hoping it isn't fake, I nod toward the door, striding out to meet the others and grab my keys. Determined, I think to myself that even if it kills me, I'll make Sora wish our alliance weren't just 'for now'.

* * *

By the time we get back to the condo, it's been an hour. Axel actually found the place with the 75% off sale and we kinda raided the place, unable to help ourselves. Or rather, Axel couldn't. Sora, Roxas, and I just stood back, letting Axel do his damage. Along with my swim trunks, we all got a pair of sunglasses (even Sora, much to his own dismay), a bunch of 85 SPF sunscreen sprays, a Destin Florida tee-shirt for Axel ("Keep your memories close, got it memorized?"), a handful of pretty shells, and a jar of pretty, white sand from the beach. I'm keeping the jar mostly because it amuses Sora and me. It is now our inside joke to lift it up and sing-quote, "I've got a jar of dir~rt, and guess what's inside it?" Then Sora will usually yell out, "JACK SPARROW!" like Davy Jones before bursting out into uncontrollable giggles; I join him every time, the humor increased when Axel and Roxas look at us as if we've lost our minds.

"Alright, now that we've gotten everything we need, it's beach time!" Axel exclaims as he saunters proudly through the condo with his bag of assorted items from his shopping.

"Idiot," Roxas tells the egoist, "Way to be captain obvious."

"You know it, Roxy," the red-ead cheekily replies, disappearing in their shared bedroom. For once, Roxas doesn't follow him; instead he strips himself of his shirt, tosses it in the room, then plops himself in the arm chair, calling to me, "Riku, when are you going to put the couch back into place?" With a start, I realize I forgot to put the broken bed back into the confines of the couch.

"Oh, uhm…" I call back, "I'll do that sometime tonight, ok?"

"Alright, don't worry about it. I was just wondering," Roxas responds uncaringly, staring disinterestedly at a certain spot on the wall as I disappear into mine and Sora's room.

"Uhm… is it ok if I just change here?" I ask my brunet companion, who's already stripped off his shirt and is working at the buttons of his pants. How I wish I could help him. Every centimeter of the tan skin exposed is precious and disastrously inviting, just begging to be explored by gentle fingers or lips. I almost expect a pair of white majestic wings to unfurl out from in between his shoulder blades, but of course nothing is there except the contours of his muscles and bones. So beautiful, he doesn't need wings anyway.

"Yeah," he complies distractedly, turning his back towards me. With an inward pout, I strip off my own shirt and make quick work of everything else, slipping on my new white-and-grey swim trunks before Sora turns around. By the time I can pay attention to my Kitten, he's clad appropriately too, so we hastily leave the room. I wonder why he seems to be in such a rush – I was for the simple fact of resisting my strong urges to tackle him onto the bed. But maybe it's cold in the room without his shirt. I don't get the chance to check for goosebumps when Sora makes his way to the living room without me, so I stop in the bathroom to grab a hair-tie. Once I get back to his side, my hair pulled back, everyone is there, ready to go.

"Sunscreen?" I ask, refusing to sunburn or tan.

"Check," Roxas says, "Axel put it all in our beach bag."

At the reminder, Axel retrieves the bag off of the kitchen table. "What about towels?" I continue, looking over my shoulder to the redhead. As you can tell, I am the ‘mom friend’. "Got it," he replies, so I relax, starting to get excited at the thought of the crystal-clear emerald green waves and the beautiful white sand.

"Grab the volleyball," Roxas requests lastly, smirking when Axel immediately complies.  _Whipped_  is the last thing I think before we finally leave out of the back door of the condo. Sora walks shyly beside me while we follow the ketchup-and-mustard couple as they lead us to the beach. I fervently wish to take his hand as we walk down the sidewalk to get to the road, but I resist it stubbornly. The urge peaks when we stand shoulder to shoulder at an intersection, waiting for the sign to change so we can cross the busy street. When the infernal light finally changes to the walking symbol, I run ahead in a literal attempt to avoid my own desires, waving Sora to me as I reach the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the beach entrance on the other side, a white metal gate that opens without any kind of key or password. Sora and I continue to follow Axel and Roxas as they lead us down a wooden ramp and concrete stairs like baby chicks until our feet meet the creamy white sand. I confess I'm a bit amazed at the endless white displayed before me, extending forever to my left and right. Instantly, I take my sandals off to carry them, making it easier to trudge through the ever-changing mini-dunes. Rows and rows of tall, overpowering, and multicolored umbrellas and wooden beach chairs block my view of the water. The breeze is soft, but the light of day is brighter than I had ever seen. I’m anxious to see the water, the main event, giddy to dive in. I watch with interest as Axel talks to the beach monitor, an individual with a tan I never thought possible on a person. Once he tells us where our designated umbrella-and-two-seats are, we continue our journey. The anticipation and excitement proves to be too much for me. Out of a lapse of control, I grab Sora's hand, telling him, "Come on, let's go already!" He doesn't protest, following me laughingly as we run toward our spot.

Of course, we get there before Roxas and Axel do, but I honestly don't care. I plop my sandals down in between our two chairs and gape at the sight of the ocean, unconsciously gripping Sora's hand a little tighter in the daze of my amazement. The beach is simply beautiful; the water is sparkling and  _turquoise_ , crashing against the sand, bubbling white as if singing to it. Compared to the dark brown water of Galveston that tastes and looks like like salt and chemicals, this is absolutely magnificent. In the distance, I can see the water's color get lighter. I assume it's a sandbar; already, I'm determined to reach it, just for the hell of it. The sand looks beautiful against the color of the water, occasional globs of green being the only thing obscuring it. Ah, there’s the sea weed Axel mentioned earlier. Even though I thought it was gross earlier, I couldn't care less about it now. The redhead was right; it isn’t enough to be even a little concerned. My grin couldn’t be wider.

"The water… is green and turquoise," I say with my eyes wide. Sora immediately laughs. "Yes, it's turquoise; haven't you seen the water before?"

I just now realize that I'm the only one of the group that  _hasn't_ seen the water yet. "No, I haven't. This is my first time going out of state since I was seven when I spent a week in Louisiana," I tell him plainly, still staring at the water in wonder.

"Oh," he says, turning to me. But I don't give him a chance to continue; I sprint ahead, forcing our hands to separate. Once I get to the edge of the water, I twirl back towards him and outstretch my hand toward Sora with an ecstatic grin, silently beaconing him back to me. If I were to share this moment with anyone, it would be with the adorable brunet. Somehow, the sense of adventure wouldn't really be complete without him.

Suddenly, a sense of vertigo makes me unbalanced, like the world just tilted and a flash of… something, an image of something, or is it a feeling? resonates in my heart almost unbearably. _Such a small island. Open the door._ Desperation; longing;  _please go with me_  is what I feel, or is it 'felt'? I watch dizzily as Sora hesitates but then strides toward me rapidly; I feel like I've seen this before. Like I know it'll end tragically if I don't grab his hand.

I watch him run as time slows down, wondering why he looks so anxious to reach me and why I'm so desperate for him to take my hand. To be with me. As if I'd done this before, I'm tempted to step forward to lessen the distance between us. I feel like if I don't latch onto him soon, he'll be swept away by the water and waves, never to be seen again. It’s devastating. But that's ridiculous, right? I'm not going anywhere, and he's going to get to me in less than a second, so there's nothing to worry about. This is like being afraid of my own shadow.

And as soon as the sensation came, it leaves. Time snaps back and I can't help but smile in relief when he takes my hand willingly again. I’m disturbed by what just happened, wondering if I’m sick. The vertigo is gone. I think of the flashes of images; though I felt like I recognized the islands, thinking of them again, I have no idea where they could be. And, how could I? This is only my second time out of Texas. I shake my head. Maybe the vacation is getting to me.

"You know what we need to do, Sora?" I ask him with a cocky smile, pushing away the peculiar feeling I had a moment ago.

"What?" he asks, amusement twinkling in his eyes; a shadow of something lingers in the depth of his irises but the ghost disappears as soon as it came.

"Swim out to the clear part. Do you think we could do it?" All eerie occurrences are gone now, leaving the residue to rest in the back of my mind compliantly.

"Hell yeah. Race?" he offers, offering a cocky smile back to me. Oh, it's on now.

"Bring it on; kitten versus silverfish."

"Hey, I am no-" he starts, protesting, but I've already begun to sprint into the water, tugging him along behind me.

Quickly it becomes too hard to run through the thigh-high water, so I toss a competitive grin over my shoulder to Sora. Letting go of his hand, I dive in, loving the way the cool water feels across my skin. I only have a moment of serenity before I reach the surface and break into freestyle, blindly swimming forward until I decide to figure out where I am. I continue hard for a minute or two before I quickly stand, wipe my eyes, and look around. Straight ahead but still a good distance away is the sandbar. With a panic, I notice Sora's form right behind me, so I sprint forward again, swimming powerfully through the water as I enjoy the stretch and effort my muscles make to pull through.

With the current and the waves going against me, progress is slower than usual but I persevere, determined to get to the sandbar before Sora does. Somehow the two of us become neck-and-neck but eventually I plow on ahead, reaching an area that I can't even stand up in. Occasionally I pause just long enough to see if Sora's ok (because yes, I am protective) but after awhile we reach the clearest water I've ever seen in my life. I stop, momentarily swept away. I stand, breathless, a helpless smile plastered onto my face once again.

Chuckling, I declare, "I won." I hear Sora curse at me but I disregard it, gliding down till I'm floating on top of the water on my back.

"Shut up, I was right behind you the whole time," he informs me stubbornly. The swish of the water increases as he comes to stand over me menacingly, but his attempts at intimidation fail rather miserably. Another strong impulse to reach up and pull him down to my lips strikes my heart. Even his glare is cute, though there's a light in his eyes that tells me he isn't really angry. What entrances me about him this time, however, is his hair; despite it being soaking wet, it's still spiked out all over his head, glistening in the sun through the many water droplets streaming through the strands and down his face. My stomach lurches forward slightly when I deny my compulsion to kiss the water away. I swear my self-control is going to actually make me ill at this rate.

"When's the last time you were in the water?" I ask him, glancing nervously to the side so I don't give in to my temptations. They are getting harder and harder to resist; it's pure luck that I've been able to defy the sun-kissed skin, dazzling smile, and twinkling eyes thus far. Whenever I think I'm going to actually do something, Axel or Roxas comes into the picture and I'm able to scramble away inwardly, hitting myself forcefully from within.

"Uhm… probably a month or so," he tells me ambiguously, scratching the side of his other arm awkwardly. Ah, he's hiding something again.

"Why so long?" I pry, idly wondering how anyone could resist this beautiful water for more than a week.

Sora sighs, falling to his knees to wade through the water. A small wave rocks us up then abandons us to fall, but it doesn't bother either of us. I await his answer patiently as he swims around slowly, trying to find the words, or the excuse, to use.

He laughs shortly before saying, "I just got tired of the water; I kept feeling like I was missing something when I came here."

"Hm… is that why you didn't want to go yesterday?" I asked, placing my feet on the soft, wet sand below me, adjusting to its shifting quickly before swimming closer to Sora.

"Sorta; that was only part of the reason. To be honest, I was going to leave. It's not that I wanted to, but it's kind of a policy we have," he replies, averting his ashamed gaze to the water.

"Who's we?" I already knew the rest for the most part.

"There's a homeless shelter in Fort Walton that I stay at occasionally… We have a policy that if someone offers their hospitality, we never take advantage of it; take what you need but then leave. It's for politeness and pride reasons, not to mention safety," he explains somewhat reluctantly, "Basically the place is a recovery and rest stop for us if we are in a really tight spot."

"O-oh," I respond stupidly, not sure what else to say. I never knew or heard of anything like this before. <fixed: >Mixed emotions combat for attention. I’m relieved Sora has _some_ fallback plan. But I’m equally concerned; it’s become clear just how dangerous it is to be homeless. I imagine his age and attractiveness doesn’t help at all – my limited knowledge in humanity tells me many would want and try to take advantage of him. After an awkward moment of silence, my thoughts sew together, all the sentences ending in those annoying question marks that cloud my mind whenever Kitten's around. Unable to resist asking more inquiries, I ask selfishly, "H-have you ever stayed with someone like this?"

Instantly Sora blushes and I feel my heart clench, wishing that it were only me as I assume it's not. It's a stupid wish, really, but it's one of those wishes that you can't help but long for despite the odds. I honestly regret having even thought about it; my jealousy is misplaced. It’s his survivability – who am I to judge or question it? I almost take the question back, but Sora sputters, struggling but clear in his attempt to answer. He admits hesitantly, "Yeah, but not for as long as this. If I'm ever offered a place to stay, I always leave the morning after."

How fickle the emotions of the heart are. Instantly, the beating thing inside my chest is warmed gratefully and rises as it asks the question: "Why have you stayed with me this long then?"

If anything, Sora's blush deepens. I cock my head to the side lightly, wishing I could pull him to my chest and tell him he's adorable. But I don't think he'd appreciate it very much, so I wait for his embarrassment to subside so he can answer. Patience pays off; he mutters lowly, "I-I feel safe with you."

I stare at him, elated, but shocked. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. How do you respond to that confession? No, it's not a love confession, but for him, saying you feel  _safe_ with someone is huge. And the fact that it's  _me_ he feels safe with just… Have you ever felt something so profound that you don't know how to describe it? In so many ways, I'm honored; how is it that this angel came into my life? It's times like these that I want to thank fate for every breath of air I take (or in this case, every breath that  _he_ takes), and then feel silly that I'm being so overdramatic.

Overcome with emotion, I reach out to the brunette, arm outstretched to snap around his wrist. I want to bring him close, pour my appreciation into him the only way I really know how. I'm not usually someone who likes to be touched without permission granted, or touches others, but I’m learning that some situations are suited perfectly for it. The brunette hasn't known me long so perhaps he won't know that a hug from me means more than a casual 'hello', but at the moment I can't bring myself to care. Perhaps it would be better for him to think of it as nothing anyway.

The water splashes as I stride toward him through the water. He looks up slowly from his flushed gaze at the water, and I let my eyes meet his, unaware of the intensity that could be there, or the emotions they could display. My fingers are a mere inch away from Sora's wrist. His beautiful cerulean eyes widen when suddenly, a call throttles through the air, just loud and familiar enough to make me falter.

"Riku! Sora!" Axel calls out, his voice joyful. Every thought and action I had stops; Sora freezes as well, staring in wonder and confusion. Surely he wonders,  _what was he about to do?_  I pray he never finds out, despite how innocent the contact would've been. Already, my racing thoughts berate me, explaining in streams of curses and hysterics of how touching him would taint him, I am not worthy, and that I shouldn't ever do it unless necessary.

Pivoting toward the familiar voice, I let my eyes fall on a glistening, confident Axel, followed by a floundering Roxas. The duo saved me again, I acknowledge gratefully. I let my hand that had been outstretched fall to my side naturally before I cross my arms, replacing my blank look with a smirk, carefully keeping my gaze away from the one next to me.

"Where have you guys been? You've been missing out," I call out to them, waiting for their approach.

"We set up shop, unlike  _some_ over-eager beavers," Axel retorts teasingly, glancing between me and Kitten. With a sheepish grin, I shrug. "Well, I'm the only one who hadn't been in the water so–"

"And whose fault is that?" Roxas inquires with a sarcastic grin, despite his struggles to swim over to us. Unable to deny my guilt to his question, I stick my tongue out at him immaturely. Sora giggles at our antics, joining in, "I take responsibility." By now, both Axel and Roxas are with us on the sandbar, of course soaking wet, their hair still retaining their original shape. Though Axel’s spikes are in a ponytail, I'll still never understand how all their hair can do that. They must have ocean-defying magic I do not.

"Oh, really now? Then how should we punish him, Riku, Roxy?" the redhead says deviously, gesturing to his boyfriend and myself for back-up. Feeling a bit afraid of where this is going, I unconsciously step closer to Sora, glaring lightly at the pyromaniac. Upon my defense, Axel laughs, recognizing exactly what I just did. But then Roxas tugs him down by his arm, leaning up to whisper something in his ear. Having seen this mutiny against me before, I lean over to Sora, whispering, "Be prepared." He gulps audibly, nodding as I watch the dynamic duo with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

When the two break apart, the smirk on both their faces can't mean anything good. They take a step forward threateningly, but I don't move an inch. 'I'm not intimidated by you' is the stance I stand in to reply to their advance, but they reply just as obstinately, taking one last step forward in unison.

And that's when they strike. Both of them lean over and create a tidal wave toward me and Sora's faces; we block our faces with our arms, but it doesn't do much against the salty water. We end up sputtering and wiping our eyes quickly, reciprocating to the perpetrators’ actions like fighting fire with fire. Of course, we end up in a splash fight, the ocean water going up our noses and into our mouths, sure to leave the smell and taste for hours. We're too into it to take much note of it. The only thing we notice is the cool water and the slight burn in our eyes as we continuously rub the water away from them.

Things slow down when Axel starts dunking people; as it takes a lot of energy out of us to fight against him and to attempt to dunk others, soon we are calling 'time out'. Each of us pauses to catch our breath, flipping the hair out of our eyes that blocked our sight once the dampness finally brought it down from its usual place. My hair is barely in my ponytail; Axel’s long red locks suffer the same fate.

"Riku, are you ok?" Roxas asks, looking upon me strangely.

I furrow my eyebrows. Hell yeah, I'm ok. "Ha, yeah, I'm great! Why?"

"You're grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. It's weird on you," the blonde explains, his gaze unwavering despite my glare. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I know I don't smile like the world is made of sunshine and daisies all the time but you would think that I could get away with it just once…

"Any reason for being so happy?" the redhead pushes further; I feel my eyebrow twitch. _Asshole, you know exactly why I'm happy, now leave me alone_. They must be messing with me. If their physical attacks didn’t work, perhaps they’ve moved onto psychological.

They are lucky I love them – in a sibling, “I also hate you”, sort of way. "Can a guy be happy without the paparazzi after him?" I retort, pulling a pout. Sora _aww_ 's at the face I pull while the others snicker, having seen this display many times before. "Give him a break, guys," the brunet tells them. Heh, no one can resist my puppy-pout, not even the cutest kitten of all.

"Ah," I suddenly exclaim, feeling the sun's stare on my back, "I need some sunscreen…" I realized that in my haste earlier I had not put any on. Looking up to the sky, I squint just off to the side of the ball of gas burning billions of miles away rebelliously. With my arm resting on my forehead, I glare at the expanse of sky like that will deter the UV ray from tanning my porcelain skin.

Relenting, Axel replies, "Well, why don't we all go back then? After we get smothered in the oily stuff we can play volleyball."

Liking the sound of that, I tilt my head down and turn it towards the group, smiling and nodding in agreement. "As long as Sora's on my team," I say cheekily, knowing I would've ended up with the lean brunet anyway.

"Bring it on; you know Roxy and I'll burn you to the ground," the pyromaniac replies, raising his hands into claws up to the sky, demonstrating his imaginary fire power. Communicating to him that he's an idiot via my facial expression, I stride over to him and push him over. "Prick."

Roxas snickers next to the fallen redhead, outstretching his hand to help him up despite his approval of my insult. Axel grumbles but accepts the hand, muttering, "Well at least I have fire power… what would you have? …Darkness or something?... Meh."

"Nah, we'd use the power of light… with badass swords," Sora protests, slashing around as if sword fighting. I join him, 'battling' his imaginary sword with my own. I get a sense of familiarity in this like before, but this time I stubbornly push the déjà vu away, more focused on Sora's happy, fake-determined look and bright eyes as we clash.

"You guys are such kids," my blonde friend comments, shaking his head at us. After a couple more slashes and jabs, I 'drop my sword', shrugging. "You're just jealous," I tell him, 'defending' myself when Sora's 'sword' comes down on my head. Roxas snorts, obviously disagreeing, but instead of arguing with me, he says, "Let's just go back already. We'll see who's jealous of who on the sand, got it memorized?"

I look disapprovingly at him. "That's Axel's line, Roxas… you can't do that. Its _weird on you_ ," I inform him, copying what he told me earlier.

"But I obviously just did," he says indignantly. Then, a moment later, the mentioned fire-head sneaks up from behind him and throws him over his shoulder. The look of surprise on Roxas' face is priceless. "Hey! What the hell, Axel?"

"Riku's right; that  **is**  my line,  _got it memorized?_ "

"If I say yes, will you put me down?"

"Haha, no. Nice try though."

"Axel! Put – me – down. Hey!" Roxas fights the pyro as they walk away, red in the face from anger or embarrassment; either one. However, Sora and I just laugh at them, following them as the water-level rises on Axel's waist, creeping up on my body as well.

"Do you ever wish you could be like them?" Sora asks me when my two friends are out of earshot.

I see no point in lying. Looking down at the water shyly, I divulge, "Yeah, all the time actually."

"Hmm…" Sora replies, somewhat self-consciously wading through the water. I look back up after a moment of contemplative silence, debating whether I should start swimming instead of walking awkwardly beside Kitten. But then said companion continues, "Well, I predict you will find someone you can be happy with, like them. Maybe happier."

"Oh yeah?" I reply daringly, "Who do you think could fill the position?"

Turning towards Sora, I watch him uncharacteristically pretend to think, refusing to give me a single stutter or blush. To make the matters worse, he suddenly exclaims with the brightest smile I've ever seen, "Me!" and takes off. He sprints off in freestyle, kicking up water, to leave me there blushing like crazy and stuttering to no one. When he notices I haven't moved, he calls out, "Come on, I'll race you back!" as if what he said was nothing. It probably was, to him; a joke. _Calm down, Riku, calm down_.

This kid will be the death of me, I swear.


	6. Goodbye, Riku

~ _Goodbye, Riku_ ~

Despite the wild, strong waves pulling us back, one by one we get back to shore. In the end, I'm still the last one to reach the gritty sand, but Sora waits up for me nonetheless. I resist the fluttering feeling inside me, pulling away from the thoughts of Sora's previous joke; I'm not thinking about his smile, the gleam in his eyes, or the way my heart skipped a beat when he said, “Me!” Nope, not at all.

"This sand feels like walking in cake icing," I pant to the brunette as we clamber over to our umbrella and seats.

"It  _is_  kind of hard to walk on," Sora agrees, kicking the sand forward casually like he did with the piece of concrete when we first met. Wait, how is it that I still remember that?

I don't answer that question as I am afraid of it; I tell myself that I've always been rather observant, which is only half-true. But I have no more time to stop thinking about it when we finally get to our friends-gone-lovers; Axel hands me his red-and-blue towel, reaching to grab the sunscreen right afterward. When I ask why I have to use his already-wet towel, he explains that we need to conserve our dry ones, surprising me with his unusually sharp response. Normally, I’d ask what was wrong, but I’m too distracted. We’re not in a good place to talk, anyway.

Out of some bad joke of fate, I'm the last one to get the sunscreen. "Come on guys, I'm the palest here; you could at least give me first dibs on the sunscreen."

"Psh, and what? Have no more sunscreen to pass around at all? You've gotta be kidding us, Riku," retorts Roxas with a condescending look as he stretches around, trying to rub in the sunscreen on his back futilely. When Axel notices his lover's predicament, of course he immediately aids him, slapping the blonde's hands away painlessly before rubbing in the oil himself, causing Roxas to blush as if he were related to a tomato. I briefly smile at the similarity between the blond and brunet’s blushes, but then shake my head to rid myself of the relation.

"And anyway, we go by the saying 'last one there is a rotten egg'," the red head says, branching off of Roxas's comment. I initially think that he’s relating to the fact I reached the beach last, but his snickers tell me he’s thinking of something else. It’s highly suspicious.

I furrow my eyebrows, momentarily contemplating what the pyromaniac meant by it, if not my arrival time. "Axel, what the hell does that have to do with anything?" I ask, nodding thankfully to Sora when he finally passes me another bottle of the cancer-preventing, anti-UV ray liquid.

"Because your soul is decomposing from lack of sex, you have to be the rotten egg," he informs me completely straight-faced; after a shocked moment of silence, Roxas erupts in laughter, collapsing onto one of the low chairs as he is unable to keep standing. Even in the middle of this hot beach day, I feel my ears turn pink in embarrassment.

"WHAT – THE – _HELL_ , AXEL?" I roar at him outraged. Once he joins Roxas in cocky laughing, I throw my sunscreen bottle toward him, unfortunately hitting his forearm when he lifts them up to protect his grinning face. "My soul is NOT decomposing!" I decide to ignore the insane reasoning Axel provided for said decay of my soul. I can’t even bear to look at Sora.

"Yes, it is," Axel chortles, "Your body is _teeming_ with darkness…" He makes childish Halloween noises, hands up and fingers wiggling like a zombie. I’m so agitated I don’t feel the need to roll my eyes, just maintain my hard glare.

"You never make any sense," I reply annoyed, inwardly planning on skinning his tear-drop tattoos off his face while he sleeps. I could do it too; you know how he has rather small eyebrows? My fault. He should really know better.

"I never said I did," Axel continues, shrugging his shoulders, chuckling to himself. I sigh; he always has to have the last word. Instead of continuing the argument, I grab the bottle I threw and finally start putting on the sunscreen, inwardly hating the way it slicks onto my skin. The faster we move on from the moment, the better.

When I turn my focus back to the gang, they're all set. Impatient as always, Roxas is one step ahead with our volleyball under his arm casually as he talks with Sora. I’m forced to compare them again as they stand side by side. Surprisingly, they get along very well. Sora always laughs at Roxas’s dagger-sharp wit, and the blond hasn’t turned his harsh criticisms on the brunet, which is a miracle in and of itself. There must be something about Sora that Roxas respects. Even appearance-wise, they’re oddly similar; when you look at them side-by-side, you could mistake them for twins. They are even the same age and height. I’m tempted to ask when Sora’s birthday is, just to confirm that they aren’t long lost siblings.

"So, where can we play?" Roxas asks to no one in particular, tossing the volleyball back and forth between his hands, obviously anxious to start playing. Though I don’t particularly look forward to getting exhausted and deliriously sweaty, the competition excites me. My only worry is that, in all honesty, I’m no sports guy. Racing, swimming, arm wrestling – great. Coordinating as a team? Forget it. I grimace, wondering how ridiculous I will look in front of Sora. I try to remind myself that it’s just a game. At least I have him on my team – if anyone has a chance of inspiring the team-player in me, it must be him.

"Just a little further down on the beach, there's a net," Sora tells us, a genially giddy smile on his face. I conclude he must like sports as much as Roxas does. The blond hands Sora the ball as Axel walks up, taking his lover’s hand. Ignoring my jealousy, I give Axel a significant glance that he seems to understand; it's always been like this between us. For example, in school, Roxas would actually participate in gym while the redhead and I leaned against the wall and talked the whole period, only joining in when the coach yelled at us or if Roxas needed another person or two on his team. My physique is almost exclusively earned from weight lifting and HIIT cardio. Which sounds great, right? Yeah, the only reason I run at all is because I can watch anime on the treadmill. I can hear the choir of _boo_ ’s already.

"Alright, you lead the way then," Axel tells Kitten, outstretching his arm to let Sora pass in a dramatic way. Nodding, Sora bounds on ahead, Roxas following right behind, his hand slipping out of the redhead's. With a shrug, Axel and I follow him too, the sand sticking to all our legs as our feet flick the white grains up. The trip proves to be only a short journey; the net is easily seen after we descend from a rather large hill of sand. Axel and I end up guessing how the sand became such a big dune but we're quiet after Roxas asks us why it matters. Shrugging again, we mutter excuses of how it's 'interesting' and 'a sign of healthy curiosity'. Both Roxas and Sora laugh at us, arguing that we make things too complicated when things can be simple. Touché.

When the volleyball net looms closer, the more energetic ones of the group vault on ahead, sprinting as fast as they can while whooping in victory upon their epic discovery. Soon enough, Axel and I arrive as well, casually joining our teams’ side. I come in at the perfect time, just barely able to graze the volleyball and thrust it upward and over the net, only to have it throttle over back to Sora and I again mere moments later. Despite the heat and bright sun, we continue playing for hours, our bodies' perspiration dripping into our eyes, nose, and mouths; but because of our natural competitive nature, we plow on, taunting the other side of the net with jeers and playful insults.

In all honesty, that's how most of the rest of the  _week_ goes; full of nothing but whatever we want to do. I could tell you event by event, or day by day, what Sora, Roxas, Axel, and I did for most of the rest of the week. I could profess to you of everything Sora has said (I've probably memorized his words by now – Axel would be proud), or I could tell you every single little 'moment' Axel and Roxas have had. But believe me when I say it'd be wasted words.

Sora and I became closer and closer with each passing day, but I'm not the only one; by the last day of vacation, Axel and Roxas have had several bonding moments with him as well. I would be concerned if we didn't all get along by now, though; between the movies, take out, domino games, card games, volleyball matches, beach adventures, and general tomfoolery, how could we not coincide as if we'd known each other all our lives?

However, the odd thing is that I still haven't been able to get the brunette's full story. After all this, all I know about is the area of the homeless shelter he sometimes has to go to, a couple of his friends there, some of his favorite things from the question game we played the second day, what he wants/wanted to do with his future, and that he was disowned by his parents in Mississippi; but I have yet to figure out the reason. In general, it's suspicious, but both Roxas and Axel have agreed with me that it's just one of those things that you don't want to talk about, like your mother dying, or a harsh break up. Or in my case, the fact that I've fallen in love with someone that I've only known for a week. It's just something I rather not discus, and so how can I blame Sora for his secrecy?

But just because I don't talk about it (or want to) doesn't mean I don't reflect on it. The more I resist him, the more I fall, and the more I fall, the more I think about it. Each night he sleeps next to me, the dreams get more detailed, deeper, and disastrously vivid; I wake up with a hard on that I only barely get away with hiding. It's a little scary, considering I've never dreamt about anyone this much. No matter how many times Sora smiles, I still melt as if seeing it's brilliance for the first time. I've been caught staring at him a couple times already. I've always been known to be cool and collected but this one person is able to catch me off guard and make me stutter, his vivacity, excitement, and wit far outstretching my own. I can hardly explain why I feel this way; I've had crushes before, but nothing like this. I never believed in someone else completing you – you're your own person for a reason – but I feel like something's been missing without him. Now that he's here, the murky, brown ocean water of my heart has cleaned it's waves, turning much like the beach I've been visiting all week; bright, and clearly happy.

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by everything that you don't know what to say at all? That's pretty akin to what I've been feeling; this week has been the best of my life but it's about to end. I feel like something's about to happen; a storm is brewing. Quite literally, according to the weather. Inside my soul, I feel the apprehension of loss. It's become so tiresome; I'm not used to using the word 'feel' so many times, especially referring to myself. But, I can understand why I'm so anxious in my skin; already, we are leaving tomorrow morning. None of us have talked about it, but we all know it's inevitable.  _These are the last 24 hours_ , I tell myself hollowly.

"Snap out of it, man. What are you sulking about?" a redhead asks, snapping me out of my depressing contemplations. After my eyes meet the electric green ones, I let the windows to my soul fall to the bowl of untouched cereal bellow me.  _It tastes like cardboard anyway_ , I think, already aware that I'm not going to eat it.

"Nothing, Axel," I lie to him, knowing full well he'll see right through it.

"Uh-huh, right. Well, since I know you won't tell me anything, what's the plan for the day?" he asks, leaning away from me to sit back down in his own seat next to Roxas. Sora's bowl of cereal is already empty, but his chair is vacant; he went to use the restroom, though he's been in there for a rather long time. I already heard the water running to wash his hands (I'm assuming) but the water shut off a while ago yet the door hasn't opened. I wonder what he's doing, but I try not to obsess over it too much; there's a fine line between general care-and-concern and stalking. I’d like to walk that line wisely.

"Well, since it's our last day, we should go to the beach. After all, we did go to the movies and went shopping yesterday," Roxas replies, yawning through his cup of coffee. Because he's still half-asleep and therefore weak in his defenses, the blonde leans over onto Axel's shoulder, eyes drooping slightly despite the caffeine in his hands. With a soft chuckle the redhead lifts a hand to play with Roxas' crazy locks of hair; a surge of jealousy causes me to glare softly, a look unseen by either of my companions.

Throughout the week, the two of them have become more acquainted with the idea of being together. I mean, I bet it was a bit of a shock to wake up the morning after having drunk sex. I'm not exactly sure of the details, but I'm sure it was a bit awkward; though fortunately, they obviously decided to stay together – or is it 'get together', technically? Slowly but surely Roxas has been allowing more of Axel's affections (finally) and Axel… is still Axel, which I suppose is a good thing. He deserves it after chasing the blonde all these years.

Of course, Sora comes out of the bathroom right then, forcing my moping to stop and make me immediately think about what would happen if I got  _him_  drunk. I berate myself right afterward however, forcing my attention on him and not my imagination. Besides, even if I could get Sora that way, I'd have some serious issues to face in the morning.

He comes out blushing, but not out of embarrassment; the redness is a bit splotchy, as if he rubbed his face a little too much. A single stream of water races down the side his face, and that's when I notice that the roots of his hair are wet; he must've washed his face. Oh, so that's what was holding up the process. Or at least, this is the only excuse I can come up with. But then again, when does it take ten minutes to use the loo, wash your hands, and then wash your face? I’m not sure why I’m still suspicious, but I am.

I try to meet his eyes but they never stray from their gaze on the floor until he sits down at the table. After a few more moments of failed silent communication, I nudge Kitten, slightly amused when his head snaps up, his blue eyes wild with thoughts. Upon his recognition of me, the chaos in his eyes calms somewhat, but I still can't help but worry a little. I tilt my head and knit my eyebrows together, silently asking him what's wrong. He shakes his head, smiling a little to try to wave away my concern. The only reason I let him get away with it is because of the golden couple a mere foot away, trying to plan out the beach trip for the day. It would be a disaster if I let them conduct the day without my motherly guidance.

"We should swim out to the sand bar again."

"That would be cool, but we also should build some sand castles," Axel replies to the blonde, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Well, I say that if we go, we leave the volleyball behind because I almost collapsed from a heatstroke the last game, and I nearly sizzled like bacon from the sunburn." I tell them firmly. Though, thinking about it, I didn't mind the sunburn in the end; Sora had been the one who smothered the Aloe-Vera on me.

_The cool Aloe-Vera is shocking on my burning skin and so I can't help but wince, despite the small fingers and dainty hands working in soothing circles on my back. Although I appreciate the effort Axel and Roxas are putting in to keep Sora and I alone, any more of this and I might just lose it. The small hands smothered in the skin-nourishing goop work firmly but delicately, careful not to harm me. Unfortunately, it makes the fire across my skin worse anyway, only in a different way; every touch coerces my body to want more._

" _Sorry you got stuck with this job," I tell Sora as calmly and collected as I can._

_The hands only hesitate for a moment, then continue their therapy across my back. If he keeps doing this, I'll fall asleep and have a vivid sex dream. "It's not a problem; I kinda always wanted to be a massage therapist anyway."_

_That's new information. "Hmm, that's interesting. Why a massage therapist; that is, if you don't mind me asking?"_

" _Schoolwork was never my forte, and I guess still isn't. I rather comfort people, but being a counselor wouldn't be good 'cause I'm not much of a philosophical, problem-solving person. I just do whatever comes to mind first."_

" _That makes sense… I think you would do really well as a massage therapist; hell, I'm having trouble staying awake right now," I tell him, only joking a little bit._  A massage therapist,  _I think,_ that's amazing.  _Kitten doesn't respond to me, only continues his work. Soon enough, his soothing fingers are so mind-numbing that I do fall asleep. I immediately start dreaming about the brunet, and for the briefest moment, I actually believe there's a paradisiacal pair of soft lips covering my own._

"Fair enough," Roxas says, picking at his fingernails disinterestedly. I snap out of the memory, collecting my thoughts together to continue the conversation.

"Got any ideas, Sora?" I ask the brunet, turning to face him again while hoping to get him into the debate; he's been rather quiet all morning. I can't help but hope I know the reason why; maybe he doesn't want to leave me either.

"Uh… well, we could walk up and down the beach to look for shells… but there aren't that many," he offers, still looking distant. I'm starting to get really worried about him. Maybe I'll be able to ask him what's wrong once we get to the beach.

Axel shrugs to Sora's proposal but gives me a significant look; he must be trying to tell me to walk with Kitten down the beach alone. I fight the urge to chuckle; the redhead honestly thought that I didn't see that opportunity already? I know I'm a bit behind in the romance department but I'm not that daft. He's always been my personal matchmaker, ever since grade school. Sometimes it's annoying but for now I think it's working in my favor.

"You know what?" the redhead asks to no one in general. When we all turn to look at him with annoyed expectance, he continues, "I think we should just go, and do whatever the hell we want to do. Who needs to plan? It's fucking vacation!"

"Watch your mouth, Axel," Roxas chides him, nonetheless smiling in assent to his idea. I shrug carelessly and Sora reveals a crooked smile. It seems we have an accord.

So, needless to say, we go to the beach with the sunscreen, towels, sunglasses, and everything else in a bag under Axel's shoulder and our sandals in hand. By now the trip to the beach is so familiar we could walk to it blindfolded, save crossing the busy street. As is tradition, Sora and I walk behind the lovebirds at a safe distance, making small talk until we are at our designated spot. Once we get there, we usually race out into the water, going out to the sandbar with or without the ketchup-and-mustard couple. Today is no exception; I wonder if we do what's normal just to make it feel like tomorrow isn't the end. I guess you could say it's a way to escape the truth, the reality. I suddenly realize that Sora might not want to see us leave… so maybe he'll try to leave tonight? Before then? With a panicked expression, I pierce Kitten with my gaze as if that could keep him in place but alas he only stares back with an inquiring expression.

"What?" he asks, wading through the waste-deep clear, turquoise water toward me.

With a regretful sigh, I reply, "Nothing." Of course, he doesn't look convinced but for once I don't cave in to his unsaid request. I let him wade over to me, but I keep my distance because every second he is close to me is unbearably tempting. I just want to take his hand, kiss his cheek,  _something_ sickeningly romantic that would make my cheeks flush when thinking about it later. Every minute that goes by is painful, as I'm fully aware there's nothing I can do to make him  _stay_ with me, but the closer he gets to me the more I'm convinced I need to find some way to  _make_  him stay. There's still so much I want to know about him that I don't, and quite frankly it's exceedingly maddening. Not only that, when I think about going home without him I feel… empty. And that's scarier than anything else I've felt so far.

I soon come to realize that both of us are just generally melancholy, but for most the day we fake it well enough. We build sandcastles with Axel and Roxas; at least, until they decide it would be a good idea to bury me in the sand. I end up with the white, gritty grains in places that I didn't know was possible, but it becomes worth it when all four of us go out into the water again to wash off; a tan, blonde guy comes by on a jet-ski and asks if we want to take a spin. Obviously, we agree whole heartedly. Out of some random stroke of luck, I go first after an intense battle of rock-paper-scissors. When we hear our stomachs growl angrily at us soon after all our turns, we leave the water (thoroughly thanking the guy for the mini-adventure) and go out for lunch at a cheap fast-food place right at the beach. The day goes by slow, but eventually, it's evening. The sun sets beautifully, but alas, it doesn't set over the water like you see in the pictures on Google. Still, the incandescent setting sun gives everything a light-yellow tint, somehow making the water look a little more welcoming and the sand a little softer.

This is the time I decide that I shouldn't ignore reality anymore. Without the guidance of the matchmakers Axel or Roxas, I ask Sora to walk with me down the beach, completely blank as to what I'm going to say, but fully sentient that whatever I must say needs to be said  _now_. Sora agrees and I follow him down to the water's edge, watching him bend to the wash the sand off his hands.

Of course, right after that we start walking down the beach away from the ketchup-and-mustard couple silently. It's not really an awkward silence, just a contemplative one. I'm a little confused because it looks like Sora has something he wants to say too, but I couldn't imagine what it could be; wait, what if he's going to try saying goodbye? Inwardly, my thoughts skyrocket in terror, but none of the things that ricochet around my head help me get an idea of what to say – or argue – at all.

"Riku," the Kitten beside me states quietly. Instantly, everything I had been panicking about disappears as I turn to him, caught thoroughly off-guard by the way he said my name. It sounded affectionate, soft; when my turquoise eyes take in the beautiful form next to me, my breath hitches inaudibly; when I said the sunset was nice, I didn't know how it affected  _him._ The tan skin I've been so close to all this week looks darker with the setting of the sun, but also softer. The light catches the dirty blonde highlights in his hair entrancingly, just beckoning to be tousled into a bed-head status; it'd be a delightful challenge. His sparkling blue eyes slide over to glance up at me despite his drooping neck, and I note worriedly that his eyes are darker, the color somehow reminding me of a wet cloth.

"Y-yeah?" I ask him stupidly, too preoccupied with taming my heartbeat to answer intelligently.

"U-uhm, I ju-ust wanted to say…" He looks as nervous as I feel. "T-thank you. For this week."

His words warm me up from the inside out, each step we take forth through the uneven sand warmer than the last. With a little more confidence, I reply sincerely, "I-it wasn't a problem. It's been a lot of fun having you around."

Sora says nothing to this but merely nods. We fall into silence again, but luckily, my confidence doesn't flee. I know I need to say something, but I'm still lost as to what to say.  _Hey, Sora, guess what? I've fallen in gay love with you; will you come home with me to Texas and live with me?_ Yeah, right. That would be a disastrous thing to say. I look at my hands as if they hold the answer, but all they do is quaver slightly, causing me to inwardly scowl at them. I suddenly feel small and weak. Those are some the emotions I hate the most. I remind myself that 'love' was also on that list of hated emotions, the reason being its consequences. I could hear it like a medicine commercial in my head;  _may cause nausea, heartburn, stomach ulcers, anxiety, depression, ecstasy, and possible death. Do not take if you are pregnant or may become pregnant._

"Look, Sora –" I say on a whim, surprised when Sora turned toward me at the same time, my words overlapping his. "Riku, I –" he says, desperation clearly written in his voice. Just like a cliché movie, we both stop walking, shuffling in the sand as we try to get the other to go first.

"You can go –"

"No, you go," Sora says firmly; I can tell he won't budge on this. It increases my curiosity about what he was going to say tenfold.

But, of course, I oblige him, nervousness amplifying as my hands sweat from my anxiety. "I–I'm not sure how to say this, and I know it's kinda ridiculous… but… wouldyougotoTexaswithme?" I ask, my cool composure completely dead as I stare at the sand below.

"W–what?" Sora asks, his whole tone bordering on hysteria but mostly just bewildered. I'm about to repeat the question, just in case he didn't understand what I tried to say, but then he continues, "What do you mean? You c-couldn't-"

"Yeah, Sora, I really could. I'm not rich but you're not exactly trouble–"

"I-I don't want your pity," he says suddenly, and I look up swiftly, shocked by the response. That wasn't what I meant at all. His blue eyes are burning with determination and even a hint of anger; I stare back, probably looking lost.

"That's not it at all, Sora! I don't  _pity_ you, I care about you and want to help!" I tell him earnestly, trying to explain myself without giving too much away. My heart is still beating erratically from my chest, but there's nothing I can do to calm it down.

Kitten hesitates, obviously confused by my response. He stutters incoherently for a few moments before gasping, "How can you care about me? I'm just – u-useless, trash!" If anyone else had said that about him, I would've kicked their ass. How can he think that about himself?

"You aren't useless," I start, eyebrows furrowed in pure concern, "You a person with a heart, a family, and–"

"No, don't you get it? I don't have anything worth anything! No family; they disowned me. I barely got my high school diploma but there's nothing I can do with that. I'm nothing but a beggar who will eventually die on the streets," he informs me, his voice thick with grief.

When I see the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, I just about lose it; my hand snaps to his wrist, gripping tightly and tugging him towards me. The only thing I'm able to say before my body takes over is this: "I would never let that happen." Then, even though every shred of my conscience tells me no, I actually kiss him, his flawlessly pink, plump lips merging with mine in the most heartbreakingly perfect way. I expect him to push me away, hit me,  _something_ but at first, all he does is  _melt_  as if he's an ice cube placed in the middle of the desert. My whole body relaxes as my heart soars for those first couple seconds;  _He just gave in to the kiss!_

But, of course, fate doesn't work that way. Or rather, Sora doesn't work that way, and I knew better. After those couple moments of bliss, everything seems to click and Kitten suddenly jolts away, blushing as if he just walked in on a couple having loud sex. My hand that had been gripping his wrist falls to my side as he stutters incoherently. I want to say 'I'm sorry' but I can't get my frozen throat to articulate the words, though it doesn't matter since my lips are similarly locked tight, the key in Sora's fisted hands.

"I-I g-gotta…" he stutters, backing away slowly clumsily, "I-I can't… Y-you…"

"Sora…" I plead softly; what I'm pleading for, I don't know. Guilt takes its place on my shoulders; suddenly I feel heavy with regret.

"Y-you kissed me," he stutters softly, hands threading through his hair from anxiety. I'm not sure what to say; I still can't bring myself to apologize. I can't bring myself to take it back because I meant it, wholeheartedly. What I'm sorry for is possibly hurting him, possibly chasing him away, possibly  _losing him._

"Why did you do it?" the brunette asks, sending me the most broken expression I've ever seen anyone wear. I wince, wishing I knew how to fix exactly what I did.

Knowing honesty is what he deserves, I tell him, "I-I think I've fallen for you; I don't want you to leave." Saying it out loud relieves a stress from my heart, but yet it beats faster as it realizes it might be hurt very soon. Inwardly, I'm already bracing for rejection, but I can't help myself from hoping, just that  _tiny_ bit, that maybe I'm not the only one who has felt these attractions and emotions all week.

If anything, Sora just looks more devastated, torn. "I-I… Riku, I  _can't._ I–" Suddenly his expression morphs into something dark, angry. "Look, I don't know what you're trying to do, but just because I'm gay doesn't give you the right to kiss me! I appreciate all you're done for me, but I'm not going to be taken advantage of!" he glares harshly at me, taking another step back.

What the fuck? "Sora, I'm not trying to take advantage of you!"

Sora's stern expression only falters for the barest moment before he whispers so quietly I barely catch it, "I won't let this happen again." I reach out to him again, absolutely desperate to persuade him listen to me but he only takes several steps back again, closing his eyes.

"Goodbye, Riku," is the last thing he says, his voice cold. His words cut like the sharpest knife plunging deep inside me. I'm unable to respond, fixed in place as Sora backs farther and farther away until he completely turns around, his back towards me. His feet crunch against the sand rapidly as he runs away, each step quieter in reality but louder in my mind.

It takes several moments for me to truly grasp everything. Sora's gone.  _Sora_ is gone.  _Kitten is gone._ I think over and over again, my whole body suddenly weak until I'm forced to collapse onto the sand. I don't care about the gritty discomfort the grains give me; I don't see the crashing of the turquoise waves coming closer and closer to me as the tide comes in; I don't see anything but Sora's broken expression in my mind, blue eyes haunted. Cruelly, my lips still feel the tingle from the memory of Kitten's temporary reciprocation to the kiss I gave him. Everything keeps repeating over and over in my mind until the sun is barely even there anymore.

Axel is the one who finds me, most likely hours later. Unsuspecting, he immediately asks, "Where's Sora?"

When I force my throat and mouth to reply, my voice is fragile and hoarse. "Kitten is gone," is the only thing I manage to say before I bring my knees to my chest and rest my forehead on them, unwilling to show the salty tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

_Kitten is gone; forever._


	7. Pieces of the Puzzle

_~Pieces of the Puzzle~_

"What do you mean, 'Kitten is gone'?" Axel asks indignantly, staring me down as he towers over my lowly position in the sand.

Blinking 10 times per second, I reply thickly, "What do you think, Axel!? I fucked up and he left!"

He sighs in a frustrated way, and in my mind's eye I can see him tugging his fingers through his hair. "Explain," he commands, earning a small sniffle from me. Ah, I hate being so emotional.

I explicate the situation painfully and for once Axel doesn't speak, just listens. When I'm done, I somehow manage to feel worse but I look up at the pyromaniac despite that, hoping he'll have some shred of useful advice.

But of course, Axel isn't a therapist; he's more like an encyclopedia, full of useless information like how the light color red travels the farthest which is why the sunset is red. Shaking his head, he says, "I'm sorry, man. The only thing I can get from that is that I think he thought you were making fun of him for his sexuality. Or, maybe from his experience on the street, he thought you were trying to sleep with him before we left."

I groan, face-palming, "For once, I think you're actually right, but I didn't know he was gay and you would think that I would've tried to seduce him already if I was trying to sleep with him!"

Instead of arguing with me, he tells me, "Look, both you and I know that Roxas will be more help with this. Come on, let's go back and get Roxas."

"No," I refuse stubbornly, "Just go get Roxas."

The redhead hesitates, but eventually he deems me too obstinate and upset to dispute with. About ten minutes later, an unnaturally calm Roxas joins my side. At first, he simply hugs me and pats my shoulder like he used to do after a bad break up in high school for comfort. He, being one of my best friends, knows of my teddy-bear (a.k.a. cuddling) disposition and uses it against me or for support. When I nod, he finally speaks, "Axel explained everything."

"…And? Got anything enlightening to tell me? 'Cause I could really, really use it," I ask him desperately, unable to keep a little attitude from my voice.

"If anything, if you really care about him like you say you do, then I think you should go after him to try to straighten things out," he informs me, sympathy in his eyes. For some reason, the only thing the concern does is piss me off more.

"How? He could be anywhere!" I exclaim, glaring at nothing in particular.

"Riku," Roxas pleads softly; it somehow reminds me of Sora's voice and it calms me down just a little bit. Though tainted with sadness, my eyes stray to the sand again, hoping to hide my transparent emotions. "You need to think; you're the one that really got to know him. Everything you need to know is in Sora's words from tonight and all of this week. You just need to pull yourself and the pieces together."

As much as I don't want to admit it, he's right, just as usual. Listening to my blond friend, I take a deep, calming breath, trying to clear my mind.  _Pull it together for Kitten,_ I tell myself, relaxing slightly when my thoughts come and go less franticly. I accumulate all the things Sora said and pick out what I think is important, what I think I need. The more I learn, the less scattered everything becomes; slowly but surely, things start making sense.

_"Its love… love is natural, not weird, no matter who you fall for."_

_"Uhm… well, long story short I was disowned by my parents."_

_"Where are you from?" "…Mississippi."_

_"What about you? Know any special girl?"_

_…_

_"No, definitely not," he says, displeased, "I have girl_ friends _but that's the way it's going to stay."_

_"You two know each other so well that you guys just… fit together. That's the only way I know how to explain it. My family and friends were never like that with each other."_

_"There's a homeless shelter in Fort Walton that I stay at occasionally… We have a policy that if someone offers their hospitality, we never take advantage of it; take what you need but then leave. It's for politeness and pride reasons, not to mention safety," he explains somewhat reluctantly, "Basically the place is a recovery and rest stop for us if we are in a really tight spot."_

Ok, now we're getting somewhere. If I can't find him anywhere, that's where he'll be. But still, that doesn't explain why he was so upset by my kiss…

" _I don't want your pity."_

" _I'm just useless, trash!"_

_"Look, I don't know what you're trying to do, but just because I'm gay doesn't give you the right to kiss me! I appreciate all you're done for me, but I'm not going to be taken advantage of!"_

My despair and anger rises up again; his words still burn, despite how cold they are. It's not only the rejection that hurts; it's what he assumed about me. But I force my emotions down, trying to find the hidden meanings in his words; what could he have meant in between the lines? I know where he might go. I now know he's gay, he lived in one of the United States’ most homophobic states, and was disowned by his parents. Put this together and you get an almost crystal-clear story of why he was disowned. But why wouldn't any of his school friends take him in to stay until he could support himself? And how in the world did he end up in Florida?

" _I won't let this happen again."_

In general, this statement is the most confusing thing he's said. But  _again_ is what stirs up my heart the most. What exactly happened, that is happening again? Everything is getting way more complicated than I'm used to and I start feeling a little overwhelmed again. I growl in frustration; Axel tugs at the stretchy band holding my hair back, letting the strands fall loose around my bare shoulders.

"You can get a headache if you leave your hair up too long," he informs me, proving my earlier point that he is a bucket of useless information. But I recognize that he’s trying to help and be considerate in his own way. Touched by the gesture, I nod and smile just barely, but I know he sees it.

"Look, Riku, you're thinking too much; I don't know how much you know about him, but maybe it doesn't matter. In the end, it's all about trust like Roxas said awhile ago, got it memorized? He ran away from you because you pushed him out of his comfort zone and it scared him for some reason. Though I don't know why he ran, I can tell he cares about you, too. I could see it in the way he looked at you," Axel continues, revealing that he's thinking about this as much as I am.

Chuckling humorlessly, I reply, "I don't know about that, but the first thing you said was right. Axel, I don't know what to do. Should I just let him go, or should I chase after him?"

"Chase after him. Maybe a little bit of that is selfish, but I've never seen you look as happy as you were with him; don't give it up. You'll regret it. Not only that, he needs someone. No matter what he thinks he can do, he needs something to work with to get back up on his feet. You can give him that something."

"He'd think it'd be considered 'taking'. What if he doesn't  _want_ me around? What if he really just wants me gone?"

"Riku!" Roxas suddenly exclaims, actually sounding aggravated. I turn my face toward him, face blank from shock; great, now he's angry at me too? "You're being a coward," he continues, "If he didn't want you around, do you think he would've stayed with us for a week? Get a grip!"

I hate how I know Sora best, and they seem to know how to deal with him ten times better than I do. But, upon pondering their words, I realize for the most part they are right. I'm thinking too hard, and am trying to run away because I'm a coward at best. It's extremely hard to believe that Sora would actually want to stay with me, romantically or otherwise, but Roxas  _does_ have a point; the brunette could've left if he wanted to. Hell, he slept beside me for six nights in a row – 'beside me' meaning tangled in my limbs. Suddenly feeling a little warmer inside and out from the reminiscences, I smile and nod at my best friends. "You're right guys, thanks."

With a wave of determination, I stand up quickly, catching my companions off guard. When I'm steady on my feet, I wipe off the gritty grains of sand sticking to my skin and say with faux confidence, "Well, nothing is ever accomplished by sitting by the shore like a beach bum." I chuckle a little bit, wishing the action would somehow make my fear and insecurity go away or at least lessen its intensity. But this is real, not like in the books; you always have to fight the battle  **and**  the storm inside yourself as well.

"I'll see you guys later," I say in finality, at least grateful that I've finally gotten myself together and have some sort of plan.  _If anything,_ I think to him wherever he is,  _I want to line the pieces up; yours, and mine._

In response, the redhead and blonde both nod and send me a pair of identical smirks, silent when I run off as they understand no more words need to be said.

* * *

It's hard to shoulder the weight of being on the streets again. For some reason, I felt like being with Ri-  _him,_ Axel, and Roxas would last forever. Like it was supposed to be that way. So much happened this week; I had been happier than I ever had, honestly.

_That's a kind of depressing thing to say,_  I berate myself.  _Not only that, it's wrong_. As I walk down the hectic street, I have to tell myself over and over that I belong at home, in Mississippi, where I grew up. But I messed that up, so I belong nowhere. I don't deserve a home or happiness because I'm a freak of nature. Back then, I thought they'd be able to accept me because they loved me, but they disagreed; I am sick and wrong to them no matter how many times I tried to explain. That's not what hurts the most though.

But I can't think about what  _does_  hurt the most unless I want to start crying. I'd done enough of that months ago. A veil has overcome my heart, the strongest sieve I can manage to bridle in my emotions. I tell myself that I have to be strong and survive until I can somehow start over and reach success with my own hands without being a burden to anyone. It’s a tall order. The attitude isn't like the regular bubbly and optimistic Sora, but the coarse personality helps me survive when I need the most support.

" _You will **burn** in  **Hell**  for your sins!" a familiar low voice grumbles furiously, so quickly it almost comes out a hiss. His statement would've been as funny as the Hell he wants to send me to – if he weren't being absolutely serious. He lifts his hand and I cringe, waiting for a slap that will most likely bruise into a handprint tomorrow._

_But the slap never comes. When I open my tightly closed eyes to look back at the holy man in the black robe, I see my father's hand around the priest's wrist, holding him back with an anguished look upon his face. Only a couple feet away my mother sits on an old, wooden pew, sobbing as if someone has died. I suppose to her, that's exactly what has happened. Ickle wittle Sora isn't so innocent anymore, despite the fact that my first kiss had only been a month ago whereas my sister is 7-months-pregnant out of wedlock._

" _Please, Pastor, let us deal with him in our own way," father pleads, pain glittering his golden eyes._

_The pastor yanks his hand away, but fortunately drops it to his side. He takes a single step away from my crumpled form on the floor where I rest on my knees, tears threatening to spill over my cheeks. They act like I've committed the highest crime, even above murder, and I've never even been on my knees before for anything they think I have. "Very well, but Robert, you know what you must do." Later, I might contemplate how seriously overdramatic my family's priest is and hopefully laugh, but for now it's my worst nightmare._

_My father nods again and Mother cries harder, blowing her nose into her handkerchief. After that, we leave the church silently, neither of my parents sparing my numb form a glance or comforting touch. They don't say another word to me other than instructions to pack my bags, and that night they send me out into the darkness; no goodbyes. They make it clear they don't want to see me again; the bonfire in what was once my grand playground (a.k.a. the backyard) is full of my things that I couldn't put in my old school bag. I had never been a clutter bug, but seeing everything I had once cherished – seeing my once simple **life** –burn to the ground made the tears spill over my cheeks incessantly as I walked away._

When I manage to snap myself out of the memory, I'm surprisingly already a quarter the way to the shelter; because of the stress from my memories, my body must've been trying to compensate by relieving anxiety with exercise. Being athletic, it happens to me a lot. However, my nose is a little sniffly; eh, it's not surprising. Because of the normal, nutritional meals I'd been graced with all week, I decide to start running, figuring I'd be able to get to the shelter in a couple hours or so if I run hard and even sooner if managed to slip onto a bus. And the running will force my nose to cooperate.

As I'm running, I can't help but let my thoughts stray to Ri…  _R-Riku._  Instantaneously, my cheeks flush, and I'm not daft enough to think it's from the exercise. Let me explain; Roxas is a great friend who could possibly be my long-lost brother with a sarcastic twist. Axel is the guy you can go to if you want fun, adventure, or even just a laugh. But  _Riku_ … he's something different entirely. He's simply brilliant and eccentric, beautiful inside and out. Or at least… I thought he was. The harder I think about it, the more confused I get. The whole week he'd been absolutely perfect, like a prince charming straight out of some fairy tale. But then he has these little quirks that really make him who he is. To name some, he had small moments of cockiness, or moments where he was caught off guard and his cheeks would flush. He'd protest if I ever mentioned it, but he can be simply adorable when you get around his cold-and-collected character. Or when he revealed to me he's a complete computer nerd, I learned pretty quickly that he's used to staying up until impossible hours of the night, reading, writing, and Facebooking. He quotes Disney movies, of all things, which he blames his two younger brothers for. I'm a little doubtful that's a foolproof excuse. Despite myself, an amused smile eases its way onto my lips; that is, until the scene and words of our last moments together come back.

I realize I thought he was absolutely perfect and flawless. But still, I understood that we could only be together – as _friends_ , I mean – for the week and then we'd have to part ways. The fact that he lied to me, asking me to go with him, hurts me more than I can say. There's no reason as to why he'd actually want me to go with him, so why make it hurt more to leave him? I'm just an ugly, scrawny kid with gravity-defying hair. Oh, and I guess when he figured out I was gay, he thought he could get laid if he could butter me up enough. It's always the same; last time I was too innocent to realize I was being used, but this time I'm guarded and prepared. Riku got unbearably close though; I almost believed him. I get angry at myself from the very thought. I almost believed that he really wanted me,  _all_ of me, not just my body. He weakened me from the kiss; the first time I'd been kissed since  _him._ I guess I owe  _that_ jerk a thank-you now, considering he saved me from being abandoned in the middle of Texas.

But then I start thinking about Riku's lost expression when I went off on him. Inwardly, I wince, wishing I had just walked away instead of giving him the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten under my skin and over the walls of my heart for just that minute. If I were honest with myself, I would say he still  **is**  in my heart, but I don't know why. Why is it that I've become so stuck on him in just the span of a week? I remember his laugh, the sparkle in his eyes, and then there was that  _look_ he kept giving me. He only gave it to me and I can't understand why no matter how hard I try; no one has ever looked at me like that. I don't know what it means, but every time I caught it my insides would melt, for whatever reason. Eventually I found myself purposefully doing things that I thought would bring out that certain look. You would be caught too if you saw his eyes bright and happy while his lips curled up into a soft smile. Just the thought of it makes me want to cry because I know I'll never see it again, or solve its mystery.

_Maybe Kairi will know what it meant,_ I think, desperately hoping my redhead friend will be at the shelter. We met about a year ago when we were both going through hell. However, even when she was enduring the worst pain, she'd been whole enough to help me and give me advice as well. She's like the loving sister or mother I never had. She has always been able to untangle the ball of yarn in my head; I hope she'll be able to do it again now. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm so conflicted about all of this, so mixed up inside. If anyone can help me make sense of all this, it would be her. Not only that, I realize that I haven't seen her in a while… I miss her.

Somehow, I manage to slip onto a bus heading for Fort Walton Beach; fate must be sympathetic to me today. Thanking my lucky stars, I blend in with the crowd, praying I'll be able to slip off the bus at the right time. It's really not a long journey; it's only 8 miles from Destin, Florida to the shelter I'm headed to called Shelter Homes Inc. Not very clandestine, but it's a place I can find refuge in for a couple days until I can face the world again. Technically, I'm not in a tight spot like I said the policy stated, but I  **need**  to go somewhere I know. Somewhere that will maybe help me grasp myself again. Who knew one week could flip your world upside-down?

When I see a familiar street name, I get off at the next stop, managing to slip into the middle of a big group of people walking off the bus so the driver doesn't see me. At the shelter, I'm known for being surreptitious like this; my street name (or whatever type of name you want to call it) is Ghost. I kinda like the pet-name 'Kitten' better. Shaking my head with another sniffle, I make myself focus on my surroundings. I'm less than half a mile away from my destination; turning left, I start running again, trying my best to empty my mind. No more thoughts about them until I see Kairi. _Think of nothing. You are Sora. Sora is running. Keep running._

Making record time, I get there in about five minutes or less. The building is rather plain with regular concrete walls and business-like window panes, but I know it's the place by the name on the door. Panting a sigh of relief, I brace myself before walking in, wondering how busy the Shelter is right now and if I know anyone.  _Well, you'll never know until you walk in,_ I tell myself. My hand grips the door handle and pulls it back, my tan skin appreciating the cool air that rushes out to meet me. Unlike the air, no one welcomes me when I walk in, but I really don't mind. Scanning the room, I realize that I don't know any of these people. They must be new arrivals. Saddened, I make my way towards the back, knowing I'll most likely find Kairi there if she's here, helping people take care of their wounds, physically or otherwise.

Having been with Riku for a while, I had forgotten about the smell. The aroma of the whole place is simply repulsing, enough to make anyone normal puke. But because of my history, I only gag slightly, trying to ignore the spots of discoloration on the floor and walls. No one ever knows how the stains get there but we know they are never anything good. Blood and vomit are most likely the main source, but one simply doesn't talk about it, especially here where we are all trying to protect the little bits of shredded dignity we have left. Coming back is like a big slap to the face;  _this_ is what you deserve, Sora, for being the fag you are.  _This_ is what you get for believing  _him_ , the guy who took you almost two states over and then broke up with you on your eighteenth birthday and kicked you out.

I can already feel myself slipping into misery. Kairi would slap me for it, saying that the Sora she knew was a happy, bright, trusting person who never let the Darkness get to me. I always tell her that I'm not afraid of the dark and then she shakes her head, purple eyes gazing upon me sadly. I know she's right though, I'm just too stubborn to admit it. In all honesty, I miss the light-hearted, giggly Sora too; I suddenly realize I  _was_ that Sora… with Riku.

I need Kairi. Now.

I get to the back room, eyes scouring the area quickly as I stand on my tip-toes to try and see over the general crowd of the rotten place. Blue ocean-eyes don't meet the sight of dark, red hair for several long minutes so my feet flatten on the floor again as I sigh in irritated regret.

But just then, a relieving sweet voice calls out, "Sora? Is that you!?"

Whirling around in place, I come face to face with none other than Kairi. Instantly, I feel my whole cold, strong character I use to protect myself when I'm alone fall apart. "K-kai?" I ask softly, eyes already watering as my bottom lip juts out.

Her soft features adopt a concerned expression. "Did something happen, Sora?"

Silently, I nod, sniffling like a child again. I bring my wrist up to wipe my nose, but her hand grabs my wrist, stopping it. She always called my nose-wiping a bad habit. I drop my hand and finally just tackle her into a hug, overwhelmed from just seeing someone I already know and love. Even though I'm taller and bigger than her, she holds her ground, patting my back softly.

"I missed you, Kairi!" I tell her from over her shoulder. She laughs, rustling my hair, "I missed you, too, So-chan."

When I pull away, I say nothing as her eyes scan over my body like a mother examining her child. "Sora, where have you been? You don't even look homeless. Where did you get the money to wash your clothes?" I had completely forgotten that my clothes were clean when I stopped by the condo before disappearing; they were folded and put on my bedside table, waiting for me. I had simply put them on and left in a rage. But now considering someone took the time and care to place them there for me so neatly, my guilt deepens.

"Kai, do you think we could find a place to sit down and talk? I really need help," I beseech her instead of answering, rubbing the side of my arm awkwardly. Without missing a beat, she nods, taking my hand and leading me through the nameless people around the shelter. Some of them call out, "Hey, Ghost!" in greeting as we pass, warming my heart just a little. I guess I haven't been gone  _that_ long if some of them still remember me; I  _was_ the shelter's masseuse, after all.

We stop when we reach the room filled with beds in long rows, some of the spaces in between them occupied by sleeping bags. Already, some people are in their beds or torn up sleeping bags, snoozing despite the rock-hard creaking beds or floor below them. Ungratefully, I grimace thinking about it, wishing I could sleep on a real bed with a pair of arms around me as if I were the more precious thing in the world.

"Sora?" Kairi calls out again, eye brows knit together in concern. I snap my focus back to the here-and-now. The redhead tilts her head the side, silently asking for some sort of explanation, but I give none. Instead I sit next to her on one of the empty beds, wondering idly if it'll break under both her and my weight. When I think about it harder, I realize we are both underweight; there's no way it would break unless the bolts were missing.

"So, what happened?" she asks, not wasting a moment to get to the point. Sighing, I lay down, placing my head in her lap. I close my eyes as I try to think of where to start; small, dainty hands start softly tugging my hair. Feeling a little more soothed, I decide to start on a whim. "Well, it all started last Saturday…" From there, I explain everything; that first night, how Riku just… took me to the condo like it was normal. I tell her how he insisted I stay, but never forced me to do a thing. I tell her how he'd get me stuff but then make sure to cover it up with excuses. I tell her about his friends – and I guess they're my friends too… unless they hate me now – Axel and Roxas, about how they got together after getting drunk and how they always seemed to be fighting with each other but yet picking on Riku. I tell her how they were like family, like brothers. I tell her quickly about the different things we did, and I rush through my confusing feelings about Riku, explaining the weird déjà vu sensations I kept getting, the attractions, and adoration I kept feeling for him.

But then I tell her about earlier today. I tell her about what he asked, what he tried to do. I lose a lot of my composure as I explain what I said, tears streaming down the side of my face. She listens attentively, only asking questions when necessary. After about twenty minutes, she knows everything important. For several minutes after my long explanation we stay silent together. But instead of breaking the silence, she slaps my forehead with the back of her hand. Although it doesn't hurt, I exclaim, "What was that for!?"

"Bakka," she says simply, calling me an idiot in Japanese. When I open my mouth to protest, she hits my forehead repeatedly, chanting, "Bakka, bakka, bakka, bakka, bakka!" I start fighting back a little, pushing her hands away lightly to avoid her onslaught of discipline.

"Why am I an idiot? What did I do?" I ask her desperately, sitting up in an attempt to get away from my surrogate mother/sister. But she pushes down on my chest, trying to get me to place my head in her lap again. "Lemme go, lemme go, lemme gooooo!" I frantically request.

"No, I have advice to give you, scared-y cat!" she tells me, the words forcing me to comply.

When I'm situated back in her lap, I look up at her expectantly, knowing that whatever she says will most likely be helpful. But at first, she doesn't say anything again. Her hand lifts up to hover over my chest. For a couple moments, I think she's going to hit me again, but she doesn't. The hand is put right on the left side on my chest softly, just above the fluttering beat of my heart.

"This has changed," she tells me ambiguously. I look at her questioningly, watching her serious, melancholy expression rest on my heart. When she catches my look, she continues, "Your heart, Sora; when you came to this shelter, you were hurting and heartbroken, but your spirit was still the same, still intact. You would sob for hours over losing your beloved teddy bear, but would stand strong when a new arrival came and needed someone to listen to their tragic story. Despite the pain others had inflicted on you, you still gave out love freely, touching the lives of people who you don't even know. You're losing that, Sora, blinded by fear and sorrow until you can't see how much this Riku guy loves you."

For several moments, I just stare at her. Then I sputter. "H-he doesn't love me! He just wants to screw and bolt!"

"What makes you think that?" she argues back calmly, clearly bored. She does this to make me feel stupid; it works astoundingly well. She hasn't lost an argument yet, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

"H-he…Look, does it matter the reason? He's just… just…"

"Sora, if you can't come up with a valid argument, you might as well be telling me I'm right," the redhead points out.

I sigh, wishing I didn't have to make the mood dark and serious. Averting my eyes down to her stomach, seeing her baby blue shirt without really seeing anything, I whisper, " _Zen_ did just that, Kai… I'm afraid Riku will do the same thing." Tears crawl back to the rims of my eyes at the mention of him; I hadn't said his name in a long time. I never wanted to.

"What do you mean, So-chan?" she asks affectionately, patiently. I put my arms over my eyes to hide the tears; I've always been prone to let them fall, no matter how hard I've tried to hold them back. It's one of the things I hate about myself.

"When my parents kicked me out, I went to Zen's 'cause I had nowhere else to go and we were together… and he had been planning to move to Florida for college for awhile so he decided to let me come along. I stayed with him for about a month but then he took my virginity and kicked me out a couple days later on my birthday. What if Riku does what he did?" I profess, doing my best to keep my voice calm.

"Oh… " she replies softly. Her hands resume their places in my hair, tugging, braiding, and unbraiding softly. She stays silent for a long time, the only thing breaking the silence being my sniffles as I try to pull it together. But of course, she doesn't leave it at that. After the moment of silence, she starts, "Sora, how did Zen treat you compared to Riku?"

I snort, "Completely different. Zen would ignore me a lot of the time unless he wanted to fool around. I cleaned and cooked, but I thought it was just natural since he was busy with college classes and I was being a free-loader. I was planning to get a job though…"

"Mhmm?" she hums, urging me to continue. I swallow thickly, preparing my next set of words, "But Riku did everything for me as if I were fragile or something. I don't like to be babied but I could tell that wasn't what he was trying to do… When I actually commented on it, he said it was 'polite'. Have you ever heard of someone being polite to a homeless kid?" When I get no reply, I plow on, suddenly feeling like a puzzle; some new pieces are clicking into place but I still have no idea what the ending result will be. "And he always seemed to be careful around me but curious. He would always ask me questions about myself, but if I couldn't answer them, he'd let them go no matter how much he wanted to know; I could see it in his facial expressions. He made me feel weird, too."

"Weird how?" Kairi asks finally, eyes bright with recognition; she knows something I don't. I decide to ignore the look and answer, "I'd get this warm feeling in my tummy, even after having a whole gallon of ice cream with him – he likes rocky road a lot, you have no idea – and my heart would beat faster whenever he got too close. But it wasn't that I was afraid, just… I don't know. I'd blush at the things he would say an-"

"Didn't you feel these things with Zen?" she interjects suddenly. My train of thought stops, switches gears and backs up, turning down a new road. After a couple moments, I explain, "Not… really. I was nervous around Zen. I felt desperate all the time; I always wanted more from him. I worshipped him like a servant or something." Somehow, telling someone about him relieved some pressure I didn't know I'd kept locked away. I'd never really talked about Zen to this extent. I just bottled it up inside because I didn't want to burden anyone with my sob-story, especially when there are so many others who've had it worse.

"So, you're saying Riku makes you feel happy and safe," Kairi continues, looking at me in disbelief.

"Yeah!" I tell her, suddenly smiling even as I wonder why she's staring at me so oddly. "I could be myself around him; I wasn't walking on eggshells all the time."

Out of the blue, she slaps my forehead again, "Bakka! Don't you see?"

Gaping at her in outrage, "Gees, Kairi, why do you keep hitting me? What do you want me to see?" By now, I'm completely lost. What did I say? I thought we were getting somewhere…

Instead of answering me, she just huffs in frustration. "Sora, this is something you gotta figure out yourself. If I tell you, it'll ruin it."

"What do you mean 'figure it out yourself'? You know I can't do that!" I exclaim, falling off the bed when she suddenly stands, twirling to face me with her hands on her hips.

"You–" she starts, but then her voice is cut off by a small voice coming from the doorway. "Kairi?"

Immediately, the redhead freezes and her whole expression changes. She turns slowly as a pale, blonde girl in a dirty white dress emerges from the doorway. A brilliant smile adorns Kairi's face as she breathes out, "Namine."

"Where have you been? I couldn't find you," the petite blonde named Namine asks in her small tone, taking Kairi's outstretched hand as soon as it is offered. She goes farther, invading the redhead's personal bubble smoothly, placing a small peck of a kiss on Kairi's supple lips.

Needless to say, I'm a little shocked.

"I'm sorry, I've been talking with an old friend," she says, adoration clearly written in the purple orbs of her eyes.

"You mean him? The guys have been calling him 'Ghost'." The blonde peers down at me, expression curious. Her eyes widen a bit when they get to my face. Quickly, she whispers something into Kairi's ear and the redhead nods. My eyebrows scrunch together; what's going on?

"Hi, Sora, I'm Namine," the blonde suddenly says. With a quick smile I leap onto my feet and say hello, wondering how she knew my name when she called me Ghost only two seconds ago.

"Nice to meet you, Namine," I tell her genially, a small blush painting my cheeks, "How do you know Kairi?"

Instantly, the blonde girl giggles and Kairi blushes. When I tilt my head and give Kairi an inquiring look, the redhead blushes and stutters, "Sh-she's my girlfriend."

I think my jaw drops to the floor. Kairi is gay, too? Wait, what? Why am I just now hearing about this? "Wh-what? Whoa! Uhm… congrats, Kai! I didn't know you…" I catch myself, blushing harder and averting my eyes to the floor.

"Thanks, Sora," she replies, positively beaming. So, she's serious. I finally calm down a bit at Kairi's soft expression and Namine's loving-yet-mischievous smile, her blue eyes bright. My eyes wander down to their intertwined fingers and I suddenly wonder;  _why did Mom and Dad think this was so wrong?_ The thought comes so suddenly I'm thrown off guard from it. I had always been told homosexuality was wrong. Anyone gay would go to Hell and burn for eternity – it was presented as fact. But looking at them, you can tell they are genuinely in love. You can plainly see the affect they have on each other. How could someone as angelic like Kairi go to hell anyway? I almost shudder at the thought; her burning for eternity would be more sinful than what she possibly does with this blonde girl at night.

Another puzzle piece clicks in place; for the longest time, I opted to agree with my homophobic parents, figuring I must be screwed up for falling in love with another guy. I've always tried to avoid any attractions I have to someone of the same sex… But I could never stop the way I felt. And when it came right down to it, I saw nothing unnatural about it because love is love. If you ask anyone if love is wrong, they will say no. I tried, I really did, to see it my parent's and church's way but… What I said to Riku comes back,  _"It's love… Love is natural, not weird, no matter who you fall for."_ I was honest when I said that; the words just tumbled out of my mouth naturally. Wouldn't it make me a hypocrite to not follow my own statement, and condemn myself for agreeing with it?

"Do you think you'll be ok, Sora?" Kairi asks, diverting me from my racing thoughts.

Numbly, I nod, not exactly sure what I'm agreeing to. But Kairi smiles, so I assume it was the right thing to do. "Alright, I'll see you later then, Sora; think about what I said, ok?" the redhead finishes, tugging Namine over towards the door. I don't really pay attention as they walk away, but I do hear the blonde say one thing to me before she vanishes into the next room with Kairi: "He's looking for you; to line up the pieces."

The weight of the words have an unexplainable effect on me; my knees buckle and I sit on the bed I had been lying on earlier as if I heard someone close to me had just died. Somehow, the simple statement makes perfect sense to me, and that's what scares me the most; I can see Riku in my mind's eye, driving everywhere he can think of to find me. And then there's a hidden connotation behind it all, but it's trapped, like on the other side of a mirror; in another reality. It's all too much.

But I'm forced to send away the shadow of the other meaning as a chilling thought sends a shiver down my spine:  _Are we putting together the pieces to the same puzzle?_


	8. Lost and Found

_~Lost and Found~_

The first thing I notice when I get to the condo to change is that Sora's clothes are gone. I had put them on the little table on his side of the bed, since I figured that the area was his as long as he occupied it. Now the little area looks depressingly foreign and vacant. I grimace when I notice he took nothing but what was originally his; you would think that he would take  _something._ Shouldn't he know by now that  _mi casa es tu casa?_ But then again, it isn't in Sora's nature to take, so it isn't that surprising.

I don't waste much time in our temporary living space, finding it painful to look around and see the different signs that a fourth person was there. I put on a shirt, pair of pants, and sandals quickly, picking up the car keys along the way before I forget them. I don't even bother to lock the place up, knowing Axel and Roxas will likely take advantage of the alone time after they're certain I've gone to race around the town. I have a feeling they would've gone with me to search for my Kitten, but they both know I simply  **do not**  share. Besides, this is something that I need to do by myself. I have a bad habit of trying to do things alone. It's one of the things I dislike about myself, but I've learned to accept the things I can't change.

Minus this, anyway. I'm not sure if the situation I'm in right now is changeable, but I guess I'm searching to find out. I'm determined to at least get to the bottom of this mystery called Sora, and tell him that I truly am not a sex-crazed kidnapper. Though, admittedly, if I were, this would be a lot easier because I wouldn't even attempt to look for him. Sometimes I wonder if having morals is a good thing.

By the time I get to the car and onto the road closest to the beach, I feel like I've wasted way too much of it already. I wonder where Sora would've gone, or rather, is; I'm hesitant to go to the shelters in Fort Walton first because he said he doesn't go there unless he's in a tight spot. Maybe he'd purposely avoid it too, considering he knows I know about the place. So, with that in mind, I decide to drive around for awhile towards places we've been and places we haven't. By some twist of fate, I end up starting at the restaurant Sora had wanted to go to when we met, though I know he isn't there. At the irony, I almost laugh, knowing Sora probably  _would_ be there if I had never picked him up. Somehow that makes me wonder how my week would've been without the little ball of sunshine.

If Sora and I had never met, Roxas and Axel never would've gotten drunk that second night and therefore never would've gotten together. After all, I wouldn't have thought to play Mexican Train to keep Sora away from the beach. Although the vacation would've been fun, it never would've compared to our mock sword-fighting and intense movie-watching. Roxas and Axel like action/suspense movies with fast cars, James Bond, and guns, whereas I still like good old Disney, DreamWorks, and Ghibli Studios films – there, Sora, I said it – with their childish and perverse humor. Really, none of us would've been able to break out of our shells and be kids again if Sora's bubbly, contagious attitude hadn't been there. Without Sora, I would've gotten bored of the beach very quickly, despite its beauty. There's only a certain amount of time before exploring the beach alone gets dreary. I would still be living under that gray cloud that Axel says I always have hovering over my head; I say it's more accurate to say Sora brought me to life. I would've stayed up until four A.M. every night, Facebooking and reading online, completely defeating the purpose of going somewhere new. Even though Sora tortured me all week by mixing up my emotions, I can honestly say I wouldn't have it any other way.

He turned my world upside-down. I think I'm becoming addicted to it.

" _I **can't believe** we are here AGAIN!" Axel groans, face-palming. Almost-protesting, he stops suddenly with his eyes closed, still covered with his hand in tired annoyance, refusing to follow Roxas, Sora, and I as we head into the crowded super-market. Sighing in obvious irritation, the blonde gyrates his torso just enough to see his redhead and reply coldly, "Get your ass over here, Axel, the place won't bite."_

" _That's what you think," the redhead mutters, just loudly enough for us to hear. While Roxas rolls his eyes at the simple comeback, Axel takes two wide steps forward and joins our line of three (now four), probably blocking way more accessibility from other people than necessary._

_But, with that little drama king problem out of the way, I ask, "Alright, so what do we need?" My eyes scan the different people-filled isles with distaste; I hate too much noise and crowd._ Let's get in, and get  **out,** _I think, really wishing the baby on isle three would shut up._

" _Lucky Charms," Roxas replies without missing a beat._

" _And milk," Axel adds in, just a little hint of exasperation in his voice, but he has a good reason for it; we've sent him to get milk at least five times already in the last five days._

" _Oh, and some Doritos for the beach tomorrow," Roxas includes again._

_But then, right out of the blue clear sky, Sora says mischievously, "Or, we could play hide and seek and get the groceries later."_

_All three of us turn to Sora with gaping faces. Sora asks childishly, "What? It's fun!" Slowly, Roxas and Axel develop twin impish grins. Scared beyond belief, I refuse quickly, "We can't do that, Sora, we'll get kicked out…"_

_Without missing a beat, the brunet replies, "No we won't. It's not like anyone will care. Take a look around; we're in **Wal-Mart**."_

_I sputter a bit, trying to come up with something to say. Before I can retort however, Axel says, "Come on, Riku, you know you want to."_

" _This is ridiculous," I inform them, already aware that I've lost. But, as is in my straight-laced and stubborn nature, I argue with them anyway. "We're too old to be playing hide and seek."_

_All three of them completely ignore my protests, forming a circle that still somehow includes me. "Sora – you, Roxas, and Riku, go hide; I'll count. You only got till 100, got it memorized?" Axel says, tugging Roxas closer to him forcefully as he nods toward the two of us. In the next short moments, the redhead steals a kiss (I blush faintly and avert my eyes), releases the suddenly flushed and glaring blonde, and stalks off in the direction of the Item Return part of the store, chanting cockily, "1! …. 2!... 3!"_

_With a small, surprised gasp that was most likely aroused by Axel's abrupt departure, Sora looks up to me with wide, surprised, and excited eyes. All I can do is peer back at him inquiringly, asking '_ are we really going to play hide and seek in Wal-Mart, of all places?' _His eyes answer my question; after finding their amusement at my bewilderment, the blue eyes glide to gaze amusedly at the grumbling blonde next to him. “That pyro… such a jerk…” Roxas mutters. Sora chuckles in reply._

_Clearly, the brunet is already having his fun. I swear, I can almost see the gears working inside his head. I suddenly feel wary; this is a new side of Sora. While I see the opportunity to flee as he is distracted elsewhere, probably planning something devious, I begin to back away slowly. Maybe, just maybe, I can get away and not get kicked out in result of their game. Before I get very far however, Sora giggles, his hand striking out to grip mine tightly. He interlocks our fingers tantalizingly slow, revealing how well we fit together like Yin and Yang, and how soft his skin feels against mine. I’m so amazed that I'm nearly dazed. Because I'm too far gone in admiration, I am unable to resist as he tugs my protesting form behind him as he stalks forward in the store determinedly._

" _You're sticking with me," he tells me with a roguish wink. After another two steps forward, the brunet comments over his shoulder, "Roxas, if I were you, I would hide well," unveiling any innocence I thought he had. But neither of the twin-like ukes pay any mind to me (why is this becoming a pattern?) as I gawk at the way Roxas nods enthusiastically and sprints off, leaving me with the last person I should be alone with. Maybe it's just that everything is happening too fast, but I feel so out of it and confused; I don't even know what to do with myself. Sora's hand is the only thing keeping me from walking away just because I hate misunderstanding, or being left behind or lost. I guess you could say it's my biggest fear – and that's why holding hands has always meant a lot to me. When someone is holding your hand, you won't be left in the dark to find your own way and you aren't ever alone. But of course, Sora doesn't know this psychological fear of mine. He probably wouldn't be holding my hand if he knew._

" _I know the perfect place to hide," Sora says excitedly, his voice childishly high but quiet as if it's a secret. Although I suppose it is, I highly doubt the old lady next to us cares what two teenage boys are doing in a Wal-Mart. But then again, Sora is endearing this way, making the most out of the little moments._

" _A-and that is?" I ask, wishing my train of thought could catch up to time. Sora gives no help, turning down a million different isles at once. I vaguely recognize the little girl's pajama section due to the big blur of pink and light purple, but then we're in a mass of forest green and dark brown. Suddenly, Sora yanks me down to the ground with him, persuading my body forcefully to get closer to his until we are both… In the middle of a clothes rack behind all the overpriced cotton. Finally, everything slows down and I collect my thoughts as Sora catches his breath. I determine a list of five things that are wrong with this whole situation; 1: I am with Sora, alone, not even an inch away from being completely pressed up against his lean back; 2: I am in the men's clothes section, hiding in the middle of a circular rack for shirts like I used to do with my Mom when I was five; 3: Sora is panting, unintentionally turning me on way beyond reason, and his neck is exposed **right there** , making it really hard for me to feel the appropriate humiliation of being trapped in the depths of the clothes… Mom wouldn't be proud; 4: Axel is It, meaning we are bound to be caught sooner rather than later because of his loud mouth. I can almost hear him shouting, 'Roxyyyy? Ri~ku, where are youuuu? Kitten?'; 5 – last but not least: We. Are. In. Wal-Mart!_

_And then I realize the brunette is looking over his shoulder and up at me from where we are crouched uncomfortably together. For once, I am able to uphold my resentful expression even though his beautiful eyes are practically begging for attention and his lips are even more tempting, slightly parted as he is still slightly breathless. "I know you don't want to play, Riku," Sora says sternly, "But you need to live a little. Just have fun for once and don't worry about anything!" The tempting lips quirk up until they create a flawless, playful smile, defenestrating my guard violently._

_Which is murder to my self-control. The only thing that crosses my mind after his words is 'kiss him'. Without anything or anyone to stop me, my body reacts to the brain's instinct on its own, my lips swooping agonizingly close to his when–_

**_Swish._ ** _The veil of clothes opens up and the subsequent light is just glaring enough to snap me out of my melted stupor. I quickly lean back to rest on my hands, looking up to the familiar owner of a pair of black and red Vans._

" _You guys need to learn how to be quiet," Axel tells us immediately, reprimanding us with a set of three arrogant 'tsks' as he shakes his head. I sigh roughly, threading my fingers through my hair as Sora chuckles at the redhead's comment. Thank all the deities that be the brunette didn't notice what I was going to do._

_"You're just over-observant, Axel," I tell him, secretly glad he came to my rescue yet again. "So who's It?" Sora adds in, already excited for the next round. Suddenly, Roxas comes into view out of nowhere, raising his hand reluctantly. All of us laugh and Axel lightly nicks his boyfriend's shoulder with his fist affectionately; the blonde scowls anyway._

_For the next two hours, the four of us play Hide-and-Seek. Around fifteen minutes into the game, a worker named Demyx finds Sora and me, and rats us out to Axel, who at the time was It again already. Once his 'dirty work' is complete, however, he asks if he and his friends can play, too. Of course, being the good people we are, we tell him, "The more the merrier!" and let whoever wants to join the tomfoolery. It takes a round to get Demyx's boyfriend, Zexion, to contribute to the gang and put his book down. But after successfully tripping another of his participating colleagues, Xigbar, he gets into the spirit, pranking us all yet somehow still staying just out of reach. The only time we ever have to play innocent is when the manager – named Saix – comes to check up on another player named Marluxia. Apparently, they are some missing expensive hair care products and he was the most likely culprit. Needless to say, by the time we actually get our groceries, we are on first-name basis with most the cashiers there, each of us being known for one stupid or funny hiding place/comment throughout the game. All in all, it was definitely a lively night._

The memory of that night makes me question myself. Everyone knows life can become pretty mundane; I've gotten it down to an art. The reason I read so much? It's not that I want to escape, or that I'm depressed. No, it's because stories can give you a vicarious larger-than-life thrill that, of course, a normal life like mine can't offer. However, I was the one who tried to push the adventure away that time; I had become a walking contradiction. But Sora… Sora definitely changed that. Because I had always wanted things to change and become more interesting, I opted to listen to the brunet's 'live-a-little' message. Unintentionally, Kitten has given me something to fight for, and I border on hating myself because I almost let him go. I fight for him not only just to claim the prize, but also for the hope that I can give him something back; he's already brought so much into my life in such a short time. If I were honest with myself, I would say that I fight for myself, too, because I desperately need to prove that I can work for  _something_ – that I have the capability of feeling something other than a balmy, candle-lit happiness. Sora offers a blistering, roaring flame _._

And this is why man invented car-drives. I always think the best when I let myself slip into auto-pilot. However, my eyes remain alert, searching for a spiky set of brunette locks. I'm suddenly grateful of his original hair; it shouldn't be too hard to discern him out of a crowd. But alas, as the minutes tick by I find nothing, nothing, and more of nothing. Before I know it, two hours have slipped by and I have probably grasped the layout of the whole city of Destin and some of the areas surrounding it.

There's only one place left that I can think of to go.

Honestly, it's absolutely nerve-wracking to think about finding and walking into a shelter, but nonetheless I shuffle around the console of my car. My hands search for my phone, about to become the magic direction-giver. When my fingers find their target in one of the cup holders, they clumsily attack, trying to connect it to the aux port. The radio switches to my music library, and I decide I can’t search for the place while my eyes need to be trained on the road. After I stop at a gas station and buy a candy bar as comfort food, I search the maps app for homeless shelters in Fort Walton. I feel guilty, but I can’t remember if Sora had told me a specific one, or not. Unfortunately, a couple results show up in the list. I pick one at random, propping the phone onto a stand on my dash. After a moment of the app 'thinking', a map appears on its little screen with a highlighted route.

"Turn right on Applewhite Drive," a monotonous woman's voice says. Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, I smirk past my anxiety. Suddenly, I just  _know_ that this is where Sora is. How I know, I couldn't explain, but I really couldn't care less when I sense that I'm that much closer to resolving everything – or at least, I hope. I don't know what I'll tell him when I get there. I don't know how he'll react. But I sure as hell know I'm not turning back.

Anxious, I wish the drive there could be shorter, but it doesn't take very long to turn down the last street. At first, I wonder if the navigation app made a mistake in directions because the building is so plain, even empty-looking. But the sign on the door says, "Shelter Homes Inc." so I'm forced to accept that yes, I am here, and no, I am not prepared in the slightest. Considering it's a homeless shelter, I have free reign over the unfilled parking lot, able to pick whichever place I want. Just to give me that extra second and a half to get to the shelter door, I pick one a slight distance away and switch the car into park. For a moment I just sit there, shallow breaths embracing and leaving my lungs at an annoying pace.  _Come on, Riku,_ I try to reprimand myself,  _you can do this. Just walk in calmly and ask someone if they happen to know someone named Sora._  Set with a shaky plan, I slide the keys out of the ignition and plop the shaped metal into my pocket; way too soon, I'm out of the car with a slam as my feet create a familiar tapping sound against the concrete. When I get to the door, I reach up to grip the handle but of course nothing happens as I continue to mentally prepare myself. I exhale a heavy breath I didn't know I had been holding, inwardly comparing this door to the opening of another dark world – that is, until I catch my negativity.  _It's just a door – open it,_ the little voice inside my head tells me irately.

I let out a small sigh again, but finally listen to myself, pulling the door open quickly. Cool air rushes out to meet me, but the temperature isn't what I notice immediately; it's the smell. Before I am even able to take in my surroundings, the miasma of the place assaults my nose; it's got to be the aroma of death, or more specifically sweat, shit, and rotting food. I attempt to hide my repulsion from my face, but I'm not sure if I pull it off well.

Despite every cowardly bone in my body telling me to turn around and leave, I take a step forward, patting myself on the back for standing upright and holding my ground. But I quickly dismiss the self-celebration, letting my turquoise eyes adjust to the florescent lighting and take in the area. For the most part, the room is just filled with people. It almost surprises me at how normal most of them look, the only different thing about them being their clothes which are mostly torn, dirty, and/or stained. But looking closer, you can see the difference; the light in a lot of their eyes are gone. They look defeated and worn. Many of them have hair bordering on disaster, depending on what has gotten caught in it, but some of the more animated ones have their hair combed through, enabling it to look almost clean, trimmed, and kept.

But throughout all the people, I see no brunette with gravity-defying spikes. A little nagging inside me says I should just go already before I get noticed, but a bigger part of me still believes Kitten is here somewhere. Maybe in another room, or a part of the crowd, lost? I hope onto my nervous hope.

Then suddenly, someone taps on my shoulder behind me. Startled, I flinch and whirl around, thinking frantically  _'maybe it's Kitten!'_ , before coming face to face with a redheaded girl with purple eyes. The adrenaline rush leaves my heart pounding and my skin sweating ever so slightly, but I am nonetheless disappointed by the appearance of this pretty young woman.

"You new?" she asks, tilting her head to the side curiously. The gesture kind of reminds me of Sora. Her purple eyes are kind and somehow wise despite her young age, sparkling in a way that says, ' _I know everything,'_ in a humble, calming way. I find it hard not to immediately trust her; she reminds me of my own mother.

Gulping, I reply, "Uh, n-no. I'm looking for someone named Sora?" Though I do sound a little nervous, I'm surprised by my even tone. Having been alone for several hours now, my voice had gone to sleep.

Instantaneously after I say Sora's name, her whole expression brightens and her eyes catch on fire with excitement. Although she tries to hide it, her whole body becomes a fidgeting mess and I can tell that if she let herself go, she'd be jumping up and down.

"What does he look like?" she asks innocently, though I can tell she's already expecting a certain answer. I already know; he must be here, and she knows exactly who he is and where he's hiding.

"Brunet, spiky, gravity-defying hair. Blue ocean-eyes," I tell her assuredly, crossing my arms in a casual way. Now that I have somewhere to start, I'm more ready to tackle the situation coolly and composedly. Thank god.

But suddenly, the girl explodes, "HA! I  _knew_  this would happen! I win, I win, I win!" She does a little celebratory jig but I just stand there, wondering what the hell she's talking about. Win what?

She must've caught my bewildered expression. "Haha, sorry," she says, calming down, "Just ignore that."

"O…k?" I reply, disgruntled when she giggles, touches my arm lightly, and gestures me closer. I take a step forward, mostly because of the guidance of her hand, but I remain on guard, wondering if maybe I started talking to the wrong person.

But then her next statement takes my doubts away and steals my attention. "Yes, Sora is here – he's in the back room, sulking – but I need to talk to you first."

Ho-ly shit, Sora really is here.

"For starters," she continues, ignoring my gawking face, "my name is Kairi; think of me as Sora's mother."

For some reason, I find myself chuckling at that; I had just compared her to my mother, but yet she's Sora's 'mother'. How coincidental. "If you're his mother, maybe you know my name?" I ask hopefully, trying to cover it up with an arrogant attitude. I swear, she sees right through it because she replies, "Of course, Riku. You were the first thing he raved about when he got here."

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but either way at least I had some effect on him. "Wh-what did he say?" I ask eagerly, wishing I could see him and set things straight already.

She nods compassionately, gesturing to two vacant plastic-and-metal chairs about ten feet away. I follow her over to them and sit down next to her, waiting for the redhead's hopefully helpful response.

"He told me what happened," she says bluntly, rousing a small blush out of me, "but he totally missed your point."

I snort in mock-amusement; somehow, I think I already understood that. "You're telling me," I mutter, suddenly very interested in the scratched plastic armrest just below my ribcage.

"Let me tell you, though, he's been through a lot," she continues, her voice sympathetic, "As I'm sure you've already figured out, he was disowned by his parents for being gay, but that's not how he became homeless here." She pauses, gauging my reaction; I merely look up to her eyes, nothing but extremely interested.

"He said something about 'this can't happen again'; does it have something to do with that?" I ask, easily figuring out the answer by her body language; she sighs, picking at a scab on her arm.

"After leaving home he went to stay with his boyfriend of the time, his first ever actually." She looks unsure as to how much more she should say, but after one glance at my encouraging eyes, she continues, "That boyfriend was planning to go to college at a university about two or three hours away from here, which is how Sora got from Mississippi to Florida since he let Sora tag along with him. They stayed together for awhile, but Zen – I mean, the boyfriend – wasn't exactly caring and loving. In my opinion, he used him for 'cleaning' services but on Sora's eighteenth birthday, Zen kicked him out."

Immediately, my insides churn angrily; I am going to kill him. I think Kairi sees my boiling, flashing eyes because she pauses, unsure what exactly I'm going to do. "How- how could anyone  **do** that to Sora?" I ask her gruffly, trying to explain myself and get my anger under control once the situation really absorbs. Instantly she relaxes, understanding that Sora isn't the one I want to physically and emotionally harm.

"I only tell you because Sora would never be able to bring himself to mention it honestly to you," she informs me, glancing sadly at a doorway across the room.

"Why not?" I ask, unable to help a little offended and disappointed. To this she shrugs as if it's obvious, and replies, "Well, for one, he's a very selfless person and never wants to burden anyone else with his pain. Not only that, it's  _you_."

I glare lightly at her. "I get the first part, but what's that last part supposed to mean?"

She looks like she's on the verge of laughing. "You don't get it either, do you?" When I don't reply, she continues amusedly, "Sora didn't understand his feelings either, so I guess it makes sense that you don't understand his either. Look, the fact that you chased after him and paid attention to him enough to get here says a lot. You have what you need, Riku, now you need to put everything together." She stands, smiling a knowing, mischievous smile. It reminds me briefly of Roxas; why is it that people that are helpful and know things never explain themselves fully? "He's down the hallway, in the last bunk room on the left."

And with that she leaves, disappearing into the crowd with a slight skip in her step. Already deep in thought, my eyes don't even try to trail after her, but instead peer intensely toward the opening of the hallway Kairi mentioned. Somewhere down there is the most amazing person I've ever met but I can't help wonder if the angelic brunet is still angry. The ache in my heart and the sound of the mournful sea as he walked away lingers; I don't think I'll ever forget it. But I think about his words again, what he said. Now it all makes sense as to what he meant by  _'I won't let this happen again'_  and I understand why he ran away; I probably would have too, if it were me in his shoes. With that being said, is it really ok for me to walk into his life again? Should I just let him go? It's times like these that I really wish Axel were here to tell me to be irrational, and for Roxas to tell me everything will be fine, that I'm being a drama king. Somehow, it feels normal to be on the sidelines, there but not really there, just watching. If I walk down there, I'll definitely be entering the danger zone, the spotlight. Not that I really care about that; I only care about what Sora feels, what he's thinking. I assume he might think that if I knew about his past, I'd hate him, judge him, or think of him as weak. But, if anything, the knowledge of the pain he went through, and still deals with, forces me to love him more.

Although I've always been an independent person, I know well that there are some things that you can't completely resolve by yourself. You can patch up your heart after a horrible ending to a relationship, but you're still never the same; suddenly, you are afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid to give someone else your heart, afraid to trust people, afraid to tell the truth. No matter what it is, it's like adding a layer of titanium around your heart, and every time you're hurt, another wall is added. Hell, I thought I had a nine-numbered combination lock on my heart, but somehow Sora figured out all the numbers. I guess now all I have to do is figure out his. Can I be enough for him? I'm not a selfless or perfect person, but I'd help Sora get back on his feet, no questions asked and no 'catch'. Is that what he's looking for?

There's no telling till I get my ass out of this chair and into the room. Sighing heavily, I finally haul myself out of the chair, stretching just a little before turning toward the door; oh, the ominous door. Gees, I really hate being nervous. It does wonders to my self-esteem, really. But suddenly, I'm caught off-guard with a thought that terminates all my doubts; he  _does_ need me. He's hurt in a way that can only be fixed by watching someone else be different than what he's seen. Axel said I have that little bit to get him started on his life, and he was right. He needs me, and I already know I need him; he just needs to know that he can really trust me. My part of the puzzle is complete by being here; only someone who truly cares for him would follow him here, like Kairi said, and he should know it. Suddenly, I'm ten times more confident. I catch a couple people looking at me strangely as I smile slightly at nothing in particular but I ignore the stares, pulling my hand through my silver locks; now or never.

Time to retrieve my stray kitten.

* * *

After Kairi leaves with Namine, I stare at the ceiling for hours. And hours. Or at least, that's what it feels like. I'm not one to sit around and seriously contemplate something, which should indicate how traumatic the last few hours have been to keep me sitting still so long. I used to be able to follow my heart without much conflict. I used to be so trusting, diving into whatever I wanted as long as I didn't think it would hurt anyone. But now, everything is so complicated… I don't even know what I want.

Well, that's a lie. I want Riku to waltz in here, confess again that he really loves me, and explain that he wants to help me start over. But then again, I don't want that either. I don't want to burden him. I don't want him to expect things from me. Sure, living with him, getting a job, and going to college someday isn't a problem, but… I'm afraid of what else he'll want. Am I even capable of being more than I am now? It's so much easier to stay the way I am; it's probably really odd that I would prefer starving for three days than give some of my body away, but that's human pride for you, I guess. I just don't want to rely on someone as much as I did Zen ever again, but what Kairi said really gnaws on my mind;  _'despite the pain others had inflicted on you, you still gave out love freely, touching the lives of people who you don't even know. You're losing that, Sora, blinded by fear and sorrow until you can't see how much this Riku guy loves you.'_ As much as I don't want to admit it, Kairi was right – as she always is. I already know that I've lost some of the trusting Sora, but I thought it was natural, just a way to protect myself, until Kairi made it sound like a bad thing. See, I  _want_  to move on with my life without the baggage of Zen, but I don't know how to start. There are some things in life that you just can't do alone. Could I trust Riku, enough to really believe he loves me? Throughout my therapy session with Kairi, it became more and more clear how  _opposite_ the silveret and Zen are. Riku treats me like a real person, eager to listen to me, …maybe even eager to love me.

My heart flutters for probably the fifth time in the last twenty minutes and I groan, putting my arm over my eyes again. I tell myself it doesn't matter anyway; there is absolutely no way Riku would come looking for me. Actually, I came to the one place where I know he could find me if he wanted. I never thought about that, though; I just needed to see Kairi. Now I wonder; should I go before Riku could get the chance to find me?

No. I ran away once, I don't really want to do it again. I still want to sulk around here for awhile. Especially when Riku doesn't show up, I'm going to need a shoulder to cry on, even though I know it's the inevitable result.

Wait a second, why would I cry over Riku? Or more specifically, why have I been thinking about Riku, Riku, Riku so much? I'm never seeing him again anyway;  _I_  ran away from  _him_. It doesn't matter what Kairi has said, it's over now… But, I wish it weren't. Why that is, I couldn't tell you. Because we're friends? Ah, that's such a dim way to say it. There has always been something different there, but I couldn't tell you exactly what it is. I wish someone could; I think Kairi knows, but obviously she wouldn't tell me, forcing me to lay here and agonize over it. Constant questions I can barely bring myself to answer.  _Is it just because Riku says he loves me?_ Why do I  _want_  him to love me?

Maybe it's because he seemed to care about me so much. He always gave the impression that he enjoyed my constant company, and always knew what to say to unleash my smile onto my face; it was the weirdest feeling, smiling when I hadn't had a reason to in so long. Usually, people get annoyed with me once I slip into my real personality, but he was eager to listen to my constant chatter. Hell, I got him to join in an unorthodox and highly amusing game of Hide and Seek even though it was obvious he didn't want to at first. Throughout the whole week, him and I were constantly together. It never once felt weird, as if that was the way it had always been meant to be. He never left me alone, as if afraid I might leave. In the end, maybe I want him around because I miss the feeling of being cared for and looked after.

All these kinds of thought swirl around my head, over and over, but it's never enough; I always end up feel like I'm missing something. Like there's more to why Riku matters to me so much even though he shouldn't. I inwardly comment that if I had my old journal, figuring out my emotions wouldn't be so difficult. But then the thought is replaced when I get an idea; I'll make a deal with myself. If Riku actually comes to set things straight, I'll trust him and go with him, depending on what he says – but if not, I don't have to think about him ever again. That way, maybe my dreams won't be haunted by him all the time. But if he actually comes to get me… I'll admit that he really does love me, too. I might reciprocate. Maybe. The idea makes my cheeks blush, but I fight back a smile; I'll admit it, kissing him isn't so bad. Hell, nothing about him is so bad. However, I can say he's as horrible as Zen's reincarnation if he doesn't show up, just for my own heart's protection. That's fair, right? Suddenly, I wonder if I have felt  _that way_ towards him this whole time. I've always been good at denying myself the truth. The realization is frightening, but somehow easing to a lot of the tensions and confusing feelings. I find myself thinking ' _I can think about him kissing me just once'_  a couple times in self-indulgence, hoping that Riku really will show up. Soon enough, however, all thoughts leave my mind almost as soon as they come and the ceiling becomes a big white blur. I fall asleep soundly, eyes heavy and burning from the previously shed tears.

When I wake up, who knows how much later, I can instantly s _ense_ something is different than before. Surprisingly, at first, I don't even mind the presence, whatever it is; it created a comfortable air, and I feel refreshed by it. I obviously needed the rest after the trip here, all the tears, and emotional upheaval. I stretch and sigh, taking a deep breath right after – and then I freeze. There's a familiar scent in the air; lavender, after-rain, and—

Oh god, I know that smell.

I whirl over onto my side frantically, gasping instantaneously after. Riku is asleep, sitting on the floor next to the wiry bed I'm in, head resting on the side of the mattress, arms and legs curled into himself as if trying to take up as little space as possible. For several moments, I just stare, my eyes trying to memorize and accept his silver hair, his restfully closed eyes, and the way he breathes softly. Air travels entrancingly in and out of his lungs from a small opening between his lips instead of his nose. I remember teasing him about it – he told me it’s because his allergies prevent him from breathing through his nose correctly. Though Kairi would insist he go to a doctor, I find it kind of endearing. I shake myself. _Is this really happening?_ Unable to help it, I pinch myself, totally taken aback in disbelief when the ministration hurts.

Riku is actually here.

Although I'm not usually one to curse, a million profanities blur through my mind right then. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. He's asleep, for one thing, which puts me in the position to wake him up. I want to, yet I don't. I've completely forgotten my self-proposed and taken deal before I fell asleep. Now all I can wonder is  _when exactly did he get here? Should I be angry?_ Honestly, I don't think I could yell at him again, even if I wanted to.

After that, I can hardly think anything except that I really don't want to wake him up, especially when he looks so perfect next to me. Resting my head on one of my propped-up arms, I lean the other hand down to play with his hair as if in a trance; I just have to touch him somehow.  _He's really here._ The strands are soft and comforting as usual, but also somewhat untidy, implying he must've been stressed enough to disarrange his hair. I feel a pang of guilt; I guess that might be my fault. But I feel a little relief when he sighs, leaning into my touch. I quietly giggle a little, unable to help myself when I poke his nose softly, covering my mouth immediately afterward when his face twitches into one of discomfort.

Wait, what am I doing? I shake my head, berating myself for – I'm not exactly sure what. I suddenly wonder if he will be mad at me for the things I said. If he's here, maybe not, but I can't help but feel a little nervous in his unconscious presence.

Suddenly, he shuffles around slightly, dropping one of his legs down until it's straight out in front of him. One of his hand fall to his knee casually while the other reaches up to pull his hair back from his face. Panicking, I realize he's waking up. I'm stuck in place as I watch him come back to life, still in awe that he's here and a little terrified because of it. When the deep, turquoise eyes open, I inwardly melt, wishing I could touch him again. But of course I don't, though I hold my breath involuntarily. As soon as Riku seems to register where he is, he jolts slightly, eyes widening and head turning toward me frantically. Our eyes meet instantly, equal in expressions of alarm.

For several long moments, we just stare at each other, enraptured by all the emotions that swirl in each other's eyes. Just in the last two or three hours, I can tell we've thought about too much and came to realize so much more. Although it's somewhat cliché, I see everything I could ever want in his gaze: love, adoration, respect, patience, and kindness. The only fraction that bothers me is the hint of hurt inside them too, but once I notice it, it must show on my face because Riku looks away, averting his eyes to the floor.

Somehow, I find my voice to speak first. "Y-you found me."

He glances at me. "Y-yeah, uhm…" he curses under his breath, "I thought I knew what I was going to say…"

I'm not sure what to say either, though I wish I did. Finally, he clears his throat just a little and says quietly, "Look, I'm sorry… I never meant to make it sound like I was u-using you, or anything."

Blushing, I finally look away as well, trying to will my heartbeat to calm down in vain. "I know," I tell him honestly, accumulating some words to say as well, "I'm sorry for over-reacting, I-"

"You weren't over-reacting… You had every right to feel and say what you did, I just didn't understand at first," he informs me, suddenly standing to lean against the wall. I look up at him; he almost looks… scared, a mirror image of myself. I sit up as well, sitting Indian style on the creaking bed. He winces a little at the sound. Somehow it lights up his eyes, a determined spark growing within them.

After a moment, he continues, "I don't expect you to agree, but I still want to ask again if you want to come with me. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I do care about you and I want to help you build your life back together. It's not because I just want to get into your pants." His cheeks flush and he rubs the back side of his neck awkwardly. It's the final blow to my walls; I realize he's serious, he  _does_ love me, and I've just been too stubborn to see it. Reacting to my impulsive nature, I take his hand, interlocking our fingers as I've done all throughout this week, albeit it means a lot more now than it ever had. This brings his eyes over to stare at me, face filled with the constant battle of hope and preparation for disappointment. So, this is what Kairi meant; by being so afraid of the past repeating, I couldn't see the pain I was inflicting on the silveret when I pushed him away. But now that I see it, I want nothing more than to take the damage away, just like he's trying to remove mine.

We've been fighting for the same thing; each other, and the revival of ourselves. The sickness is pain and loneliness but there's still hope, because the cure is love; I just need to take the next step forward. "I-I'll go with you," I tell him quietly, trying to convey what I'm feeling through my eyes, facial expression, and the way my hand grips his tightly, like I never want to let go.

He looks nothing past immensely shocked. After a moment, the words sink in and he releases a long, labored breath, smiles genuinely, and laughs quietly in relief. His body twists towards mine while his arm snakes out; his hand takes my other, squeezing just a little in some form of reassurance. I find myself smiling and laughing a little too as my heart soars to impossible heights. I squeeze his hands back. I can feel him hesitate slightly, probably still wondering when to back off, but I just smile wider. Finally, I let go to tackle him into a hug, thoroughly amused when he's able to hold me up off the floor.

Once my feet touch the ground, I look happily to Riku's eyes, feeling a little childish as I'm being towered over. But he smiles too, nodding his head in the direction of the way out. "Axel and Roxas are probably worried sick about you," Riku says, voice just a little playful.

I make a dubious expression. "Nah, they're in the condo enjoying our absence," I inform him, scrunching up my nose in fake disgust.

"You read my mind," the silveret says, walking out from between the bed I was lying on and the one next to it. I follow him close behind, feeling a familiar giddiness from being in his mysterious presence. However, before we get to the door, Kairi emerges from it, hands on hips in a reprimanding way.

"Do you understand what I meant now?" she asks, eyes switching back and forth between Riku and me.

I don't have to think twice about that question. The two of us reply simultaneously "Yes," subsequently resulting in twin, odd looks at each other as if right out of a comedy act, our expressions inquiring, ' _wait, what did she tell **you**?'_  At our bewildered expressions, the redhead giggles, obviously amused at our disgruntled response in that motherly way of hers. But once her laughter calms down, she comments, "Well, Sora, I guess I can see you in Texas?"

Smiling, I nod. "Yep. I'm going to miss you though… You have to stay in touch! Thanks for all your help, Kai," I inform her sincerely. I can already feel my bittersweet emotions surfacing but before I can start sniffling, the redhead tackles me into a hug. Shaking my taller form, she cries out, "My baby is going to Texas! Ahhh, what am I going to do without you? I'm so proud of you!"

"Gees, Kairi, I'll come to visit sometime," I tell her, glancing up at Riku for his assent; he nods quickly. Grinning again, I pat my 'mother's' back, able to contain my sentiments by the display of hers. When she lets go, she kisses my cheek and returns my smile with a watery one of her own as she tries to hold back her tears. But then the redhead takes a step back to let the two of us pass and I inch closer to my silveret, silently guiding him out of the room and through the people we find ourselves lost in afterward. Unsurprisingly, Kairi follows us out, waving goodbye as we make the way to Riku's car on the other side of the lot.

Right before I climb into the car, I turn around to look back at Shelter Homes Inc. and Kairi, knowing that though I hadn't meant it to be, it had been my temporary home. This place represents my life here; a life that I'm finally leaving behind, taking the baby steps forward to a better one. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason, but I never would've thought everything would've turned out this way. It's almost too perfect. It's helped me grow stronger and learn to accept that no, I'm not damned, or sick, or wrong. I'm just Sora, and everyone but my family and I had been able to see that. I believe I deserve happiness now, no matter who else might disagree. A rush of immense gratitude for everything – all the good times, and the bad – almost overwhelms me as I wave goodbye. Kairi waves back, an understanding smile permanently planted on her face even as I turn and sit next to Riku in the car clumsily. As soon as my hands are no longer occupied by buckling my seatbelt, my left hand interlaces tightly with the silveret's again and I sigh happily, knowing one thing that would dictate the rest of my life:

I was lost, but now I've been found.


	9. Yours and Mine, Forever (Epilogue)

_~The Epilogue: Yours and Mine, Forever~_

**Three Years Later**

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I don't expect you keep this letter, or read it all the way through. I know that, to you, I'm dead. But if anything, I wanted to let you know that I am **not**. I thought that because you said I was a horrible son, doomed to burn in the lowest level of hell for eternity, I was too lowly to deserve happiness or a life, that it would be better if I  **were**  dead. But I, and you, were wrong. You probably won't believe me, but I truly believe that just because I'm gay does not make me a bad person. Love is love, never wrong, no matter who you fall for. I hope one day you guys can agree with me, albeit reluctantly._

_Despite all that has happened, I've become someone again, with the help of someone precious to me. I don't expect you to understand, that's not really my point; I just wanted to let you know. I have a place to live, though I am living with someone else. But I'm the one who made that choice; I could've left if I wanted to. I have a nice job with good pay; no one cares about my sexuality here at all. I even go to church sometimes. I've been in college for two years now, working on receiving a Therapeutic Massage Certificate and everything else it takes to become a legitimate masseur. I'm actually really good at it; I guess you guys would know best that I don't exactly strive in normal academics._

_But anyway, I also wanted to say… that I still love you and sissy, despite what has happened. I hope Dad's business is still thriving and that Mom is still working on her house designs. I hope Sissy's pregnancy went well; I would ask if my niece or nephew is a boy or a girl, but I know I won't receive a reply to this. I hope one day you can find it in your hearts to love me again, despite my homosexuality, but I don't think I'm ever coming back home in Mississippi. I hope you can forgive me for that. I won't say where I am either; just know it's far away from our small hometown, but still in the United States. I'm happy with my life, and I sincerely hope you are too._

_Love,  
Sora_

_P.S. If you ever **do** want to talk to me, my cell number is 123-456-7890._

"Hey, Sora, whatcha writing?" I ask as I walk into the room; my black boots make a constant  _uncle_ sound across the wooden floor, just loud enough to remind me to take them off.

After I lean down to remove the footwear, the whirling of a chair's wheels resound through the room. But even more importantly, an angelic voice replies, "Believe it or not, a letter to my parents."

That's new. "When did you decide to write them?" I ask, a little worried. I look up through my silver hair towards my 3-year boyfriend, ignoring the remaining boot on my other foot as I wait for his response.

He shrugs. "I just wanted to tell them some things. For closure, I guess."

"Can I read it?" I really can't help but ask this, as my curiosity has a habit of getting the better of me. When Sora lightly blushes, but nods hesitantly, I take my other boot off quickly and pace across the room to the brunette. He sits at our mahogany desk, legs cutely crossed in the chair. After I steal a quick happy-I'm-home kiss, he hands me the plain, white paper, only marred by his sloppy (but luckily readable) handwriting.

A long moment of silence overcomes the room as I read Kitten's honest words, melting more with every sentence along the page. Only Sora could be as selfless to be willing to forgive his family after all they put him through.

"Is it too much?" he asks as soon as I'm done reading the postscript. I jolt out of my reading-daze, wondering how he knew I had read it all already.

Responding to his question however, I chuckle, handing him back the paper. "Honestly, I think it's perfect. I wouldn't be able to tell you what else to say."

Sora smiles, taking the paper lightly before setting it on the desk. "I'll mail it on the way to work then," he tells me before adding, "Hey, what's the plan for this weekend?"

I contemplate the options we have. "Well," I start, "Roxas and Axel wanted to come over sometime in the next month but they didn't tell me exactly when. I think Roxas is taking his finals soon though, so it might just be Axel; you know they can't study when the other is there."

"You're so right," the brunet agrees, giggling, "Though, I guess we aren't much better either." The way he smirks after that is purely seductive, suggesting that the past might be predicting the near future.

Definitely looking forward to  _that,_ I wrap my arms across his chest and place my chin over a spike of his crazy hair. "Oh really? I think it's healthy," I inform him, an amused smirk easing its way onto my face.

"Pshh… you have the testosterone of a 16-year-old, and who has to deal with it? Me. Because of that, I think  _I_ get to tell you what's healthy and what isn't," he retorts, leaving my arms in a teasing way. A couple feet away, he opens a mini-fridge, taking out a bottle of tea. When he looks back at me grinning, I pout. "You never complained before…"

A full-out smile graces his features as he walks back, purposely swaying his hips with each step. When he gets close enough, he sets the tea down onto the desk and leans in until his face hovers agonizingly close to mine. "I wasn't complaining," he whispers, his breath ghosting over my face in a way that makes my eyes dilate ever so slightly. But before I know it, he's already abandoned me, sipping the tea that was on the desk casually. Devious little Kitten.

However, I am able to recover quickly. Before he can taunt me further, I chuckle and reply, "Good because…" I let my sentence trail off, fingers lightly stroking his sides, earning an involuntary shiver from his skin. "You're mine tonight," I whisper, voice an octave lower. Just for good measure, I lick my lips implicationally. I inwardly congratulate myself when Sora sucks in a quick breath and holds it, blue eyes wide as they stare into mine.  _See,_ I tell him telepathically,  _two can play this game._

After swallowing almost-nervously, the brunette gathers his bearings again and pushes me away, muttering, "Prick tease. Why am I always yours, and you're never mine?"

Without missing a beat, I reply as casually as I can manage, "I've always been yours."

Alas, my calm tone is betrayed by my face, slightly flushed as I avert my gaze to the floor in an attempt to hide the emotion. The room is silent for several moments and even though I am distracted from embarrassment, I still wonder why this is so. Is Sora that shocked? My question is answered, however, when a shadow covers part of my legs and I look up a little, coming face to face with none other than the brunet. Eyes deep, meaningful, and passionate, he suddenly attacks my lips, catching me off guard by the sudden outburst. But it doesn't take me more than a second to react, pivoting our bodies until he's pinned between my chest and the desk behind him satisfyingly. He gasps lightly at the sudden force, allowing me to deepen the kiss as my tongue sweeps across and in his mouth in an exploring kind of way.

When we part, both of us are rather breathless, his eyes just as dilated as mine. Smirking at my victory, I let him go, noticing immediately how his departure is absolutely reluctant though his facial expression is uncaring.

Right before he leaves the room, he informs me triumphantly, "It's your turn to cook."

Instantly I groan, very familiar in my skills in the kitchen; they are nonexistent, bordering on apocalyptic. "Can we just order Chinese or Pizza? I can't make shit and you know it."

"Buuut… It's really amusing to watch you try," he tells me. I turn to him, fully aware that my eye probably just twitched. He's going to get it if he doesn't watch it!

"Just because you said that, I am ordering Chinese," I retort, striding over to meet him. Mischievously grinning, Sora waltzes into the living room, plopping himself dramatically onto the soft, dark couch as if he owns the place; he might as well. Only moments later does the black television set turn on, soft clicks of the remote creating flickering lights across the floor as the screen changes its pictures. I, however, don't join him in his luxurious lounging; I head straight for the kitchen counter, where I had placed my cell phone down when I got home. As I mindlessly unlock the device, looking up the restaurant’s number, Sora calls out, "Riku, what day is it today?"

Without looking up or really thinking much about the question, I reply casually, "The 24th. Why?"

I receive no enlightening response, not even a little 'hnn' noise to imply a shrugging gesture. At first I think absolutely nothing of it, a little distracted by the repetitive sounds emitting from the phone's speakers. As the silence continues, I almost become completely enwrapped in the call, waiting for it to be answered. Of course, that's when Sora finally explains, "…Today makes 1103."

I barely catch the statement due to the cacophony coming from the speaker up close to my ear. Immediately descending my arm away slightly, I ask, "…What?" I understood what he said, but not enough to repeat it or ask a more detailed inquiry.

Luckily, Sora doesn't seem to mind the vague question. "Since Florida. It's been 1103 days."

I am momentarily stunned by the response; so much so that I don't notice the quiet "Hello, this is China Town. Is this pick-up or delivery?" If anything, my arm drops down closer to my side right before I comment as if stunned, "You kept track?"

The tan, glowing skin flushes familiarly under the averted glittering blue eyes, and I realize that he hadn't thought about how odd the counting is until this moment. Nonetheless, his honest nature compels through; his head bobs up and down ever so slightly in confirmation. Whatever plans I had before this moment are thrown to the wind involuntarily. All I can think about now is how  _lucky_ and absolutely  _blessed_ I am to have this astonishing saint on our couch, keeping track of basically how long we've been together. Although I know there could be other reasons for this habit, I'm still swept away by how much it seems to mean to him – and now I want nothing more to reciprocate.

In the span of less than two seconds, the unimportant object held in my hand is dropped unceremoniously back onto the counter, barely making the mark as my legs hurriedly take the right number of strides to the couch. Sora's blue orbs widen at the sudden change of motion and mood, his body tensing and recoiling – but not protesting – into the corner of the plushy cushions. I swing my over-eager legs the couch to straddle the bony, flawless hips below. A small breathless voice interjects, "Riku –" but the rest of the sound is cut off by my kiss, which he returns without an instant of hesitance. However, I don't linger despite the passion. "I –," kiss, "Love –," deeper kiss, "You," I breathe out, words as true as every cell in my body. Despite his jumbled stuttering following my smooth attack, the beautiful brunet manages to sputter out, "I-I love you too. What did I do?"

Chuckling a little at his oblivious yet delightful response, I mutter back, "Nothing. Just wanted you to know."

Under the circumstances of my forehead resting affectionately on his shoulder, I don't see Sora's skeptical expression. But having been with him for three years, I just know it's there. After planting a small kiss on his collar bone, resulting in a seductive shiver through his body, I lean up again, eyes soft yet maybe a tad bit mischievous as well. Blue orbs rolling up to the ceiling fleetingly, the tan arms from bellow cross stubbornly. He must still be thinking about the Chinese dinner I  _was_ going to order. Chuckling again slightly before planting a quick kiss on his cheek, I relent/surrender again, slightly frustrated yet undeniably relishing the way Sora has never changed once since the first day we met. Bright, happy, and humble as the sky, oblivious to what he means to me, resistant and seductive (sometimes, on purpose) all at once, and generally astounding or amazing; take your pick.

And as for the whipped cream and finishing cherry on top of the already-delicious sundae? He's (as I explained to him earlier) mine, forever.


End file.
